crosstowntrains

action ship

2011-10-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

Our upstairs neighbor asked Elliot to help her out with a video and this is it. EJ’s first acting gig—that is, if you discount the 75% of her day that’s spent reenacting various Disney movies (mostly Tangled). Maybe it’s just the proud daddy talking, but I think she did a pretty good job. :)

to be deleted soon

2011-08-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

most posts i regret and this no doubt will be the richest plum of them all. for all none of you who seek out my seasoned and measured advice, here this. the only advice i have for all you pregnant women and your terrified husbands (of which there are many, many of each group in our present circle) is this: if you are fortunate enough to scrap together five bloody years as a couple in the warfare that is marriage, do not bring your precious byproduct of those five years on your anniversary date. "why would i want a babysitter when we can spend a lovely evening together as a family?" you think as you foolishly refuse offers to babysit from skeptical friends. she is the best thing that has ever happened to you, no doubt. and while your evening may begin with each spouse minstrelling balads of gratitude and times gone by, you will end the evening with a screaming child and to-go boxes, profuse apologies to the world for bringing a child to a nice restaurant, and standing up over your desk like a crazed liberace banging out your next angry blog post. you will have had neither the mex chocolate cake or the custardy flan for dessert you have been trying to decide between since you heard the violent debates on the merits of each on cnn. being a mother is great blah blah blah. of course we love being parents. we are completely obsessed with our child. but i will love being a mother the most when our precious gift is asleep and i am eating a hamburger out of a plastic box.

chat with EJ

2011-07-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

Last night when I talked to Elliot on FaceTime, we had a completely normal grown-up human being dialogue. We talked about her day, where she went, with who; she showed me how long her hair was getting; read me her new book; she asked if Lizzy was there (she wasn't); she played games with the video chat—one time I "offered" her a jelly belly and held it out to the screen and she said "you're too far away!"; she said, "Dad, do you remember eskimo kisses?" (I did, and we rubbed noses across the internet); she asked for hugs; she was super tired silly and laughed a lot; we counted together, sang songs together, we said a prayer together… I mean, she's always been a really good communicator, but it was like she was at a completely different level than she was one week ago… so crazy.

cartoon

2011-06-09T13:21:00.001-07:00

Very funny and very true.

From the New Yorker. Thanks @brentbarson for the tip. :)

good momma

2011-05-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

This could in some way be considered a Monther’s Day post… I’ve never made any claim of being punctual. Especially on this blog. We’re still waiting on EJ’s birthday from April and, apparently according to my sister-in-law from this past weekend, photos from Christmas… 2010? Who knows anymore.

But, Suzie… you are an incredible mom. We love you. Everything Elliot is is credit to you.

off to preschool

2011-05-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

It’s weird to see your baby grow up. I mean, who does she think she is?! Posing for photos!? Smiling!?!

Also, that little kitty in her arms got lost at school and Suzie and I were faced once again with how to handle something being gone. When Susan—Elliot’s first beta fish—died, we just kind of hid the tank for a few days. We had wanted to replace her with another Susan, but couldn’t find a fish that looked similar enough. In the end we told her, but it wasn’t the most graceful parenting. Currently we’re trying to decide if we should buy another Amber on Amazon. Fortunately for us, one thing in the world that there is absolutely no shortage of duplicates is Beanie Babies.

fashionista

2011-04-28T21:34:00.001-07:00

Recently, whether it’s been the refusal to wear anything or wearing several layers of winter bundle on the warmest evening of the season thus far, Elliot has really taken to voicing her opinions when it comes to matters of dress. And most of the time she really does pretty well for herself (even if with some good coaching from Suzie, I’m sure). This shouldn’t, nor does it, come as a surprise, as this is the same girl that walked around Babies’R’Us on the eve of her first birthday, picking clothes off the hanger racks and saying: “Ooo, cute.” And then ultimately picking the only pair of sparkly gold flats to wear out of the store that night as an early birthday present from her Gran’mama.

subway games

2011-04-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

Whenever Elliot gets a little bored or cranky on the train rides we play the “Guess which hand it’s in” game and the results bring a happy baby out every.single.time.

Also… these pictures make me feel like we have a pretty cute little family. … sorry, forgive my bragging… but just look at the sparkle in Suzie and Elliot’s eyes in that second picture and how could you not want to brag just a little?

(ps: a week ago we’re dressed like it’s the middle of winter and today we have the fan on and windows open… the weather recently has been so crazy!)

bath

2011-03-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

We lost our camera a week and a half ago (it was in the shoe closet)—and I hadn’t used it much in months before that even when it wasn’t lost—so when Suzie found it I vowed to take more pictures. And then I overdid it, like any good American dad would.

But, I’m glad I did. Elliot and I played this game where she would close the flash, I would pop it back up, and then she would do some crazy scream/dance/laugh/something for the shot and over and over and over and over and over again until I didn’t have any shots left on the card. When I put the camera away, Elliot was telling me: “Daddy, go get the camera.” Maybe I’ve created a monster… A really, funny, cute monster.

spring photo shoot

2011-03-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when cole is late for work, or in this case, church, he will save time by whipping out the camera and having a photo shoot with elliot. Usually I am very annoyed with this tendency which happens a lot more than one would think, but this one turned out pretty cute. As they all do.

This expression comes from the Cook side, as seen in the second sister from the left below.

Not really into putting on a show for the camera. Or for anything. (e.g. lizzy at an interview for a waitressing job:

"so lizzy, what do you know about japanese food?"

"not a lot. sushi?"

"why do you want this job?"

"i really need money"

"ok well we'll call you when we make a decision."

"no you won't."

"ok, we won't."

Spring JcPenny Men's Catalogue.

So these pictures were taken in Elliot's peculiarly favorite part of our apartment--a 2x4 foot slab of marble in front of a decorative fireplace. She will drag her books and babies and kitties out to this faux hearth and just play, for like a really long time. Ask her what she's doing? "I'n chillin in the spot." She is so fascinating sometimes I feel less like a mom than a scientist in a lab coat watching a chimp bang open coconuts with a rock. Not in like a derogatory way, its just like, wow. how do you come up with these things and how did you get to be so smart?

Also, here is a photo to remind us of the advantages of having a baby that gained all but one pound of her current weight in her first sixth months (as if we needed any reminding!): they can wear the same clothes for ever and ever.

out for a walk

2011-03-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

Just out for a walk with "my purse" (pronounced "purth" with your tongue sticking way out), wearing this giant sweatshirt my mother forced me into to balance out my girly pink purse that I insist on taking everywhere.

please feed the sharks

2011-03-11T04:51:00.000-08:00

The other day, Cole told me about a podcast from This American Life called Slow to React. Maybe you've heard it. The first act is about a man who was plotting to kill the man who raped him as a boy. He had been 7 years old at the time, a second grader, and the man who raped him was the 15 year old son of family friends. He never told anyone, especially not his parents who were best friends with the babysitter's parents. He knew it would devastate them and burden them with guilt: while they were upstairs drinking wine and playing board games, their son was downstairs being threatened with a knife and raped.

Finally, (I think he was in his 30s) he decided that the only way to protect any other potential victims and to satisfy his own need for revenge would be to kill him. Before he could go through with the murder, his mom called. She had found his Garfield the Cat diary he kept as a boy and found his account of the rape. (His mother later called their friends, the guy's parents, and told them what he had done. She told them that she hoped they had good lives, but please never contact them again. No phone calls, no Christmas cards--nothing.) Knowing that the murder could now be traced to him and his family, he called off his plan. Instead he decided to arrange a meeting.

They met on the street and shook hands. What follows is unbelievable: not only does he admit his guilt, but the two have an honest conversation. Did he have any other victims? He only had one victim: he had not assaulted anyone before or since. Why did he do it? He didn't know. He'd asked himself that same question so many times. He thinks that maybe it had something to do with the fact that until his thirties, he didn't think anyone else's feelings mattered but his. No one else's feelings were real. No one really mattered by him. "If there was one think I could go back and change, that would be it. Did you plan it? No, it was just an impulse he followed in the moment. What did his wife say? She was concerned for their son. Was he safe? Yes. Things had changed when he became a father. He learned to love--really.

The issue of pedophilia weighs heavily on my mind periodically. I studied it in school, and wrote one of my final papers for Sociology weighing the costs and benefits of sex offender registries. It gets complicated thinking about the perspectives of both victims and offenders. I know both personally. I know victims who's trust and security have been almost irrevocably jeopardized. I know an offender who for whatever reason, knows no empathy. I know someone from school, a good person, who struggles with sexual attraction to children. He is strong and does not act on them, but feels intense powerful urges. I have struggled to come up with a perspective that honors the needs of both sides: our need to protect ourselves and our children and our need to protect and assist offenders without alienating them.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a thought. It is not a solution, but I think it might be a step. Or not. I'm still working on it. (My most brilliant moments happen in the middle of the night and last until the next morning when I realize that what looked like brilliance is mostly deranged.) In any case I started thinking about the sharks in the Boston Aquarium. The aquarium has this giant ocean tank. It's huge--23 feet deep, 40 feet wide, and hold 200,000 gallons of water. In case you need that in terms of cereal to understand its magnitude, that's enough milk for a bowl of cereal every day for the next 8,767 years. (Or for the next 2,922 years if you are Cole and need 3 bowls of cereal every day.) For people like us who are fascinated to no end by sea creatures, it is just about the coolest thing ever: the tank holds a few giant sea turtles--one whose name is Myrtle (=lame), barracudas, sting rays, moray eels, and hundreds of colorful reef fish. Oh and also tiger sharks. You may be thinking what we were thinking: "what the??" How/why would you keep sharks in such close proximity as so many delicious fish? So the answer is this: the staff keep the sharks very well fed. They don't need to eat their neighbors because divers are forever sticking fish in their mouths with long feeder poles. It is not a perfect system, but mostly it works and the animals can live in peace. The staff at the Boston Aquarium found a way to take the danger from a predator.

What if we could tell someone is potentially dangerous just by looking at them? Unfortunately a lack of empathy or an abusive upbringing or other attributes that tend to make people dangerous is not a physical attribute. So how do we protect ourselves from harm and others from doing harm? I think the best help comes early, before a compromising situation has arisen. It starts with an awareness of the people around us. And become the the kind of person that others, especially those who are struggling with hard things, can talk to. I have a tendency to dig my head into my own life--taking elliot to stuff, doing house stuff, keeping up with my own family, and the day to day. There have been so many times when I have caught up with a friend or family member who has been going through a hard time and I think "Where have I been? Where was I when this person needed someone?" I wonder if more people were vigilant about taking an active role in the lives of others and were willing to take responsibility for others, could we prevent victimization? Would a predator even become a predator if others had stepped forward early enough to negate the threat?

trypto-fun turkey day run

2010-11-28T21:36:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving morning, Suzie and Sheryl ran the first annual Typto-Fun, while Lacey and I walked along with Clyde and Elliot.

We met up on the Brooklyn bridge mid-race for a little photo-opp. Sheryl took off to finish the race and then ran back to meet us again. Suzie—out of courtesy, not to physical depletion—walked the last little bit with us and the babes.

Aside from the cold—and even that wasn’t too bad—it was a really beautiful morning and such a nice way to start a day that, in spite of itself, can get a little (lot) crazy.

one, two monsters!

2010-11-28T21:05:00.001-08:00

Over the holiday weekend we went to the MOMA with all of Suzie’s family that was in town and Elliot found a painting that she really, really liked—“Dwarf” by William Baziotes.

Except we didn’t know it was a dwarf… Elliot thought it was a monster (two, in fact: “one, two monsters!”) and I thought that was a pretty good guess, so I didn’t challenge her.

We seriously probably spent five minutes at this painting… she LOVED it.

ps: if that color up on top is correct, then it looks like I need to do some color correction on my shots. hmmm.

pps: unrelated except for the green… WE’RE GOING TO BOSTON THIS WEEK TO SEE THE CELTICS PLAY!!!!

diabetes here we come!

2010-11-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

elliot looks like this more than not. we realized we needed to crack down on the sweets two days ago when we didn't give elliot chocolate milk for one single day and she refused all other liquids. she's dehydrated so her pee is all halloween orange...oooo spooky. any ideas for how to smuggle liquids that aren't mostly sugar/fat/chocolate into my kids diet would be great.

patience

2010-10-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

so elliot and i were at the park the other day, and she insisted on climbing onto a tricycle all by herself. as you can see from the length of the video, it took her a really long time. at one point, she got so frustrated that she just dangled from the seat and kicked her legs in frustration. but after struggling and struggling and a couple breaks to see what I was doing with the phone, she did it. and that tiny one second smirk says it all--she was real proud.

lately cole and i have been really frustrated with things that seem small, like a dirty old rusty tricycle. and maybe we are just big old babies, but getting out of bed to haul ourselves onto the giant tricycles that have become our daily struggles has been tough. it's not that any one thing in particular is going on, but it just seems like a million little trials and issues and difficulties have begun piling up in the corners of our lives, and then along the walls and on tables--stacked nicely at first, but then finally exploding all over until we are drowning in all the tiny problems that were really no big deal from the get go. lately i have really wanted to just kick my legs 3 inches off the ground in frustration.

my first instinct when i'm at the end of my rope is to snap at cole and elliot. i justified losing my temper because i have felt overwhelmed and pushed to my limit every day, which made it easy to feel okay with the frequency that i lose my temper--once a day, maybe every other. but tonight i remembered something that i had forgotten:

my elementary school had a huge play structure with slides and monkey bars and climbing pegs--the works. but it was wooden, and the railing shed inch-long splinters that lodged themselves on the pads of your hands or under your nails. i played on it every day and probably got 2 or 3 splinters, but they hurt like crazy, especially for a little pansy like me. after a couple of those, i almost never touched the rails, because who would even want to go near something that hurt them, however infrequently? i don't want to justify hurting anyone out of frustration or anger because i do it so "rarely"--know that even one or two times could make someone forever uneasy around me. they would never know when i could stick a splinter in them without provocation--something small, but sharp and painful that would not be easily forgotten.

so i'm going to take a lesson from elliot on this one--when i get frustrated, i'm going to work on channeling that energy positively instead of firing it at others (i don't know if the video picks up her little voice, but she is coaching herself almost the whole way: "i can do it. i can do it. yes. yes.") even if my task to be accomplished takes an absurdly long time, like 3 and a half minutes.

pitsssss!

2010-09-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

Needless to say, the best part about living in NY is the food. There are SO many dahlicious restaurants so super close to us--a creperie, an indian place, a sushi place, ice cream ice cream, just, a ton. Double bonus--I have this little baby Elliot, who is small and very funny, so people in stores and shops give her treats just to see that greedy little smile. And like my mom used to say, I charge a tax on all incoming goods.

This is elliot at Grimauldi's where we had a super meatza pizza and a good ol margarita. (Check out some beautiful pics the ever impressive jon canlas took that night.) The very Italian owner of Grimauldi's gave elliot this awesome shirt, after telling me that Elliot was in fact a boy's name (oh shoot!) and also that she had jowls like a dog.

The other thing that I love is how many ingredients you can find. Yesterday we were at the chelsea market by cole's work and found the very chocolate chips the NYT calls for in it's quest to create the ultimate chocolate chip cookie! So exciting! We made some cookies yesterday and elliot loved rubbing cinnamon all over her face. She has also recently falled in love with her arm pits and rubbed some cinnamon in there too, saying "pitttssssssss" in her lispy whisper. It was cute at first, but as it turns out, she's allergic to cinnamon. Hives and rashes on on a swollen face=not so cute.

The down side of such great finds is that we are all getting a little fat.

But that's old news for some.

crazy awesome lucky day

2010-08-14T19:35:00.001-07:00

It’s the World Basketball Festival here in NYC. This means lots of basketball games, lots of basketball stars, and lots of basketball shoes. Everyday I read about another sneaker release that I can’t afford and another release party up in Harlem or down in Soho that I didn’t make it to. It’s been fun to see all the posters up around the city and know that it’s all going on right around me, but kind of a bummer that I haven’t been more involved in a huge festival about two of my favorite things in the world.

That changed in Thursday. I was going to meet Suzie up at NikeTown to see some installation that they have up, but as I was getting ready to leave work to meet her I started down this path of blog links to twitter posts and caught something from @FLUnlocked (Footlocker) saying that the first 5 people to take their photo in front of their 34th street store and post it to Twitter would win tickets to this big event (USA team basketball scrimmage plus a Jay-Z concert) up at Radio City Music Hall that night. The post was from 2 minutes before. I thought about it… 2 minutes. That’s not very long. I may be one of the first people to see this. But, thousands of people follow this and I’m in a city of millions… People will definitely get there before me… But… 2 minutes… Maybe not. I’m just a couple subway stops from the store… Maybe I… Maybe I could get there first. Maybe I could win?!

I literally had no work to do and I was heading out to meet Suzie anyways, but for some reason still hesitated. Right at the second Suzie called to tell me she was finished with a baby yoga class that she and Elliot had gone to and was heading up to NikeTown to meet me.

“You wanna play a game?” I asked her. She said “yeah” and I told her to meet me at the Footlocker on 34th Street and hung up the phone, grabbed my bag, and started running.

I grabbed a cab and on the way learned how to “do Twitter” so I could post my photo.

To make a short story that I’ve made long short again, I practically ran over Suzie on the street as we were both speed-walking to Footlocker, explained the game, we ran and took the picture, posted it, waited FOR-EVER (edge is soooo slow) for it to upload, and… we WON!

This was the photo that we posted on Twitter. If you want you can like totally follow me—I now have 4 “tweets.” In the next year I’ll probably double that, which is saying quite a bit since I’ve had a Twitter account for almost two years now. It’s never done me any good until NOW, though.

Anyways, while we waited to hear whether we won or not (which, as I said, we did), we headed up to NikeTown to see this:

I LOVE the branding and illustrations for this WBF. I think it is just one of the coolest, most fun campaigns I’ve seen in a while, so I’m soaking as much of it up as possible. And to see these 2D illustrations…

come to life in 3D, I just had to see.

But, before I even got to see much of the installations, I saw this:

except he looked more like this (minus the Red Bull… and I didn’t notice that gaudy championship ring either):

because it was really him! I try not to talk about basketball too too much on this blog, but it slips out from time to time. Like this time when I last talked about Rondo. He’s become a family favorite, extending out even to new-to-sports sisters like Lizzy and Sheryl who both love him (even if Lizzy always called him Radan Rojan). I love the way that he plays and I flatter myself from time to time when I think that I play like him (Although, sometimes I swear it’s the other way around because I’ve seen him pull of my signature layup before—ask Joe; it was mine first).

When I saw him, it was so sudden, like an accident, and so unexpected that I just blurted out, “Hey man” like I knew the guy—some long, lost friend. But, of course I don’t know him, I only pretend that I know him and he most certainly does not know me. So he looked at me kinda funny and went back to shopping with his friends.

I was not going to let my ONE run-in with one of my favorite basketball players fizzle like that, so I persisted… or rather waited until he turned back toward me.

Eventually—after about 15 super awkward seconds—he did and I extended my hand out and said, “Hey, I just wanted to say that I love the way y00ou play and good luck next year…” or something like that. We shook hands and I went on my way.

But get this: SUZIE stayed outside with sleeping Elliot so she didn’t get to meet him. Super sad. I went outside, though, and forced her to come back in so she could at least see that I didn’t make the whole thing up. He wasn’t like super happy to chit chat with annoying fan boys, so we didn’t pester him again. But Suzie saw him and can attest to the validity of my story.

Actually, funny side-note in regards to the story sounding true or not…

Suzie was texting Lizzy telling her all the crazy things that were happening and Lizzy wrote back: “Are you texting during a nap?” because “we won tickets through Twitter to see a USA basketball game and a Jay-Z concert and we saw Rajon Rondo at NikeTown” really does kind of sound ridiculous, right?

OK, I'm just going to post some images from the night now. This post has gone on long enough and mostly I told all the craziness that I wanted to tell. There’s just one more thing I’ll leave you with at the very end.

(we were sitting in the 3rd balcony right above #13’s head)

(Incredible drum line like out of the movie Drum Line… all hip hop with b-boys breaking and fat, wet bass lines booming through the mix)

(Dancers and stompers like out of that movie Stomp the Yard 2 and this kid that dribbled real cool like outta that real cool Nike dribbling commercial from a few years back)

(TIP!)

(Rondo… nice drive to the hoop but he missed the layup… SEE! THAT’S MY MOVE!)

(Jay Z… you can see the whole performance right here:

and here:

although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend watching it… or listening to it, I should say. It was fun to be there—the set was INCREDIBLE—and he had some really great flows, but the mix hurt and I just think, sadly perhaps, that from a pure musical appreciation point of view that the record is far superior. But, watch it just for a minute to see the set… Wow.)

Ok, last thing.

Jay ended the night with “Empire State of Mind” and I just thought it was so fitting: the incredible song about the appeal, the magic of New York City with this awesome aerial view of the city playing on the screens behind him, being performed on this dazzling stage in the beautiful Radio City Music Hall venue, after a basketball cultual celebration, after a day of running all around mid-town, chasing down free tickets, seeing stars, and really just feeling like we were right in the thick of it all… no place can you get all of that but in New York.

And to think, the day started and I just thought I was in for another slow day of work and then I’d come home and watch Elliot while Suzie went to book club to talk about Jane Eyre.

helllloooooo Brooklyyyn!

2010-07-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

I know I posted this on Facebook a while back, but I think this picture is SO cool that I had to put it here, too. We were out shopping for furniture and stuff for Elliot’s very own, very first room and Suzie walked, with the stroller, past this wall. I just thought that was a beautiful (if not kinda an exaggerated cliché) of raising a family in Brooklyn. (Click on the picture to see in in all its huge, splendid glory)

Everything’s been good here—it feels like home. Or maybe better because we’re living in this lavishly huge, beautiful and fully furnished apartment on the 6th floor of a nice complex in a nice neighborhood next to a beautifully nice park. We have to move out in just a little over a week, but our stay here has been a very comfortable ease-in to life in the city.

Today, a neighbor from downstairs asked Suzie if we wanted to sublet his place for 4 MONTHS! We about died because that would have been incredible. But…… we signed on a place of our own already. And that place will be incredible, too. Just a little less furnished and slightly less lavishly huge.

Here’s a pic swiped from Google Maps of the front of our new place and of the street that we’re moving to. It’s a perfect brownstone, tree-lined street… just like in everyone’s perfect Brooklyn dreams… So we got pretty lucky.

it’s official

2010-06-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

we’re really moving this time… ≈ July 3rd.

i got a job at Johnson & Johnson.

suzie found us a sublet in Prospect Heights in Brooklyn…

just a few blocks from the park.

bizarre.

and kinda sad.

kinda really.

but.

exciting too.

illustration by blanca gomez.

just some unrelated things i don't want to forget…

2010-05-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

We went to Vegas to celebrate Elliot’s first birthday and stayed in a giant, golden hotel that played like this chill, techno house music with Billie Holiday samples on top (can you get more swank than that?). We took Elliot swimming one day and she practically refused to leave the pool. But, as you can see, the sun was really bright (and really reflecty off that giant gold building to our right) and we were afraid her white little baby skin was going to fry… Too bad. She really liked swimming.

Sometimes Suzie really dolls out Elliot. And this one day (pictured above), for some reason (blame the hat?), had almost embarrassing results. We went to Costco and for like 40 minutes nearly everyone we passed would gasp or laugh or smile and wave or make one of those tilted-eyebrow, open mouth “oooh” faces people make when they see something cute or sweet. I mean, it was out of control! And, I know that Elliot is really a pretty cute baby—objectively—and this isn’t written to say that she’s any more or less cute than any other baby, but that day I seriously felt like all eyes were on her. And as we left, I was telling Suzie how weird that was and then—literally mid-sentence—and older man (maybe 50s or 60s-ish) shouted across the parking lot, “Hey! You have an exceptionally cute baby!” How bizarre…

One of my very first favorite pictures of Suzie looked a lot like this—we took it on our first trip up to Seattle when we fell in love and I just stared at that picture on my desktop background all during class, thinking, “she is so hot.” Well, I still am in love with her and she’s still hot.

elliot put on some of my basketball shoes and walked around the house going "boom! boom! boom!" with each step like she was Godzilla or something. Oh, and most of the time she had a toy lipstick in one hand and occasionally she would stop and pretend to put some on her lips. Where does she learn this stuff?

And one last one that I don’t have a picture for, but it’s funny and so I want to remember it. One night I was working late on my portfolio while Suzie and Elliot were sleeping the next room over. As I was working, I sneezed. And while I’m not the quietest sneezer in the world (like Amalia) I did try mute it as much as possible. But, right after I sneeze, I hear this tired little voice from the next room… “Blesshyoo”

elliot’s birthday (part 1)

2010-05-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

Suzie and the grandmas made the pooh bear cake… pretty incredible, right? Elliot loved it. Well, she loved the look of it and kept saying “Bear, bear, bear!” but wasn’t overly knocked-out by the cake itself. Then again, I guess a whole pooh bear ear is a lot of cake for such a tiny human being.

Elliot in some of her new clothes, with some of her new toys.

Funny, every time she opened a present she would hold it up and go: “Oooo, cute!”

I couldn’t find my camera on my first daughter’s first birthday (?!) so Becky and my dad picked up the slack. These above are from my dad (on his brand new iPhone). Becky took a bunch more that I’ll also post some time soonish.

happy birthday~!

2010-04-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

elliot’s turning ONE tomorrow! can not believe it…

We have family coming into town to celebrate, which is super fun and it couldn’t come at a better time as elliot’s growing into full entertainer mode: talking, walking, kisses, hugs, laughs, jokes… she’s really, really growing up recently. Definitely her personality is starting to show through so strongly now—fun, very social, imaginative, loving, opinionated, polite—and I’m so happy that lots of people are around to see her and get to know her better.

It’s not that I never thought I’d say this or that I’m even surprised, really, that I’m saying this (because I’m not), but… But, it’s kind of like realizing “yeah, I’m in this phase of my life now…” Having a kid is fun.

the cooz

2010-04-15T22:11:00.001-07:00

My interest was piqued when I read about Bob Cousy in The Book of Basketball a couple days ago. And finding these pictures and watching this video definitely add to it. His style (those cons, the short shorts, the hairy chest and legs), his demeanor, the all-out scramble way he played, dribbling loops across the floor while seemingly using only his right hand, and his over-the-head backwards passes… it’s a lot of fun. In the book, Bill Simmons said that he was one of the first to realize you could bring entertainment to winning basketball. These brought a smile to my face for sure.

(ps: good video, good song, but a little bit of swearing… Also, the soundtrack doesn’t scream “COOZ” but that’s ok.)

Patience…

2010-04-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

President Uchtdorf.

Until Saturday night I would have 100% considered myself a patient person, and definitely one who would (have) pass(ed) the marshmallow test. But, after listening to Elder Uchtdorf’s talk from Saturday night’s priesthood session, I’ve had to reassess myself.

Patience [is] far more than simply waiting for something to happen. Patience require[s] actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results [don’t] appear instantly or without effort.
There’s an important concept here:
Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith and bearing hardship with fortitude—even when the desires of our heart are delayed.

I can wait anything out. $35 gift certificate to amazon.com… 4–6 months I’ll hold onto it until I find the perfect use for it. Never mind that I absolutely LOVE books, movies, and music and anyone who gifts one of those to me is sure to win in my book… I can sit on free money for a long, long time.

And I can work hard, too. Real hard. Late nights, grueling assignments, crappy jobs… I can push through. I can see the light at the end and know the pay-off will be worth it. Or, even if it’s not worth it, I can endure.

But, the trick comes when something really hard comes up: deciding what to do with our lives! I tell people: “Oh, I’m working on my portfolio… we got a good thing going on here and the economy still kinda sucks, so we’re just going to be patient until the right opportunity comes along. We’re in no rush…”

Sounds great. Sounds prudent. Sounds patient, right?

Problem is… “Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.”

Condemned.

Really, that’s what I’m doing. (And I won’t use “we” here, I don’t think Suzie deserves this blame.) I’m scared to move on because I don’t know where to go. I don’t know if I can hack it in the real world. I don’t know if I’m good enough to get the job I feel I deserve. I’m scared my years of exploring “other routes” hasn’t gotten me where I’d hoped it would.

And… I’m scared to choose a new place to live, because with family on the east coast and family on the west coast, there is no happy medium. The happy medium is Utah; the happy medium is both lose. And I guess, even though I miss our families and wish they were so much closer, I’d rather everyone loses than just one… I don’t want to make that choice that looks and sounds like we’re choosing this family over that.

So. I. wait.

And hope that the anser will somehow just happen. The decision will make itself for me.

And that’s a big reason why we’re in Provo 3 years later than when we first started talking about “probably heading out to New York soon.”

Patience is not fear.

I’m not patient. I’m scared.

easter

2010-04-05T00:07:00.001-07:00

our first few shots were shot on manual mode and us basically point-and-shooting without realizing it… kind of too bad, but still kinda fun. They kinda look like old Daguerreotypes or pinhole camera images. Elliot, with her white skin and white coat and light hair is, of course, completely blown out in every image. You can see her excitement a little bit, though, in a couple of them.

She caught onto the Easter Egg Hunt frenzy and excitement pretty quick for a first-timer. Must be genes from Suzie—the queen of the Easter Egg Hunt.

Ok, when we planned this hunt, for some reason I don’t think we thought that Easter—you know the holiday of Spring, and tulips, and green grass, and new life?—would be covered in snow. This winter has been bizarre. It hasn’t been too cold, but it just doesn’t seem to want to go away. Which is cool with me… mild winters are much more bearable than scorching, early summer, as far as I»m concerned.

PS: check out this great post about Utah winters…

Pure elation. Frame-by-frame of Elliot’s reaction after finding an egg. And she would shake them incessantly until confronted with the dilema of how to pick up that newly-found third egg…

Bo was a little less interested in the eggs… he had a lot more fun with his new Easter toys.

Elliot took a good 6 or 7 steps today in the evening, but walking around outside in the snow wasn’t as successful, so she spent most of the time dangling off Suzie’s arm like a floppsy, chubby teddy bear.

The booty bag… Suzie made this a while ago back when she wanted to change Elliot’s name to Etsy. It’s still a cute nick-name that we use sometimes. Along with Moxie, E.J., Missy Elliot, Billy Elliot, Billy Goat, and… maybe that’s it.

Rehydrating after all the excitement…

Happy Easter. ~ c+s+e

pig-tails!

2010-04-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

This was right after we first realized we could put her hair into pig-tail, little, sprouts.

I know she’s been growing up like crazy for a while now, but something about those little sprouts transformed her from a baby into a little girl. weird…

baths with bo… last time they had a bath together elliot screamed almost the whole time because bo had her side of the tub and she does not like change.

missing the sonics…

2010-04-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

I know this is just self-inflicted torture… and I’m not sure why I put myself through it, but… there were some really, really fun times as a Sonics fan growing up. They had to have been the most exciting team for a young kid to grow up watching.

“What? The Sonics?” you may say… “Wasn’t there so much fan apathy that the NBA moved them to the middle-of-nowhere, America?”
Watch these videos and tell me if you could be apathetic. I was not apathetic.

So there are about 156 great seconds in there, but, pay special attention at 2:06… there’s a gem in there that could easily be missed, but is so funny.

This is funny, too. How many times do you see players from the opposite team so dumbfounded and impressed that they come over and give you a high-five after they just were posterized? Answer: not very often.

rajon!

2010-03-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

I know this blog is going away from basketball, but… recently I’ve had a few videos that I’ve had a hard time resisting the urge to post. This one included.

Suzie and I (that’s right, I’m including Suzie in this statement) became Celtics fans after the Sonics dissipated and sent Ray Allen off to Boston a couple years ago. One of our favorite players (other than Ray-Ray) is this boy, Rajon Rondo, and this incredible play shows one of the reasons why.

To be able to do the things he does with the basketball…… that would be fun.

more christmas photos…

2010-03-24T00:26:00.001-07:00

I got a little side-tracked from the catch-up game, but I’m back on it. And… I’m almost caught up to the present. (This is mostly for family who’ve asked to see all these photos.)

When Suzie brought this barret home, I really thought she had gone overboard, but… I have to admit: it’s really grown on me.

Suzie, my mom, and Elliot.

Elliot, Suzie’s mom, and cousin Clyde.

Suzie and Elliot. This is one of my favorite photos, I think. Doesn’t Suzie look like the hippest mom on the planet? And that chubby monkey in her lap… too cute.

wheats of corn

2010-03-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

cole you're so funny. who could be intimidated by me? i'm about as intimidating as one of those little boxes of raisins people hand out instead of candy on halloween ("raisins?!"). thanks for sharing your blog with me--you're right, it is fun to write your thoughts instead of just letting them zing around in your brain and then disappear, like letters to santa tossed down a dead-mail chute at the post office.

today i went to a baby shower for two members of my old cohort at byu. all my old classmates were there. its only been 3 months, but it felt like a post mission homecoming. of course i was sad too--i miss learning so much and feeling like i'm contributing to the community and feeling so creatively stimulated. i started indulging in some what ifs--what if we hadn't had elliot so soon, hadn't decided to quit; had a baby who wanted to be up in her dads grill all the time instead of her moms...what if what if. these guilty whispers are so pointless, so frivilous, but sometimes they run into my ears like water and i have to jump on one foot, shaking my head for days to try to get them out.

so today, i decided--no, not today. i will have moments of mourning postponed dreams, but not today. and after i had cleared a space in my head for just a moment, i made room for something good. and i thought about what an incredible gift i have to give. how many people get to sacrifice one of their most cherished possessions--in my case, my dream of a career in public service--for someone they love? i remembered today how hard it was to cut my education so short, so bluntly, before it really had a chance to blossom. but parenthood is about sacrifice.

i'm reminded of something christ said just days before the atonement: verily verily i say until you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." of course christ was referring to the infinitely more significant sacrifice of his own life, but i think i can apply the same principle. yes, to give up school was so so hard. it still is. i feel like i live such a small life, important, but small. my days are no longer marked by achievement and performance, but by what enrichment i can give to my family and neighbors, and how well i help point all our lives to christ. it's much less glamorous and overwhelming. but this sacrifice could maybe be likened to a seed, or "corn of wheat" (is that corn or wheat?), whose life is not ending, but catalyzing growth that has yet to be seen. maybe?

being a dad.

2010-03-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

There have been two moments where I felt especially like a parent—like that wave of responsibility and love and connection and joy…

Strangely enough, neither were at the hospital. So much was going on then—so many things to keep track of with schedules and back-and-forth and measuring ounces and checking vitals and untangling tubes—that the essence of fatherhood didn’t seep in, it just happened.

After that, a lot of the time, Elliot kinda felt like a toy or a pet or a really cute baby that I actually didn’t feel awkward around. And I don’t say that to diminish my feelings for her at all. I love that kid so much. Just, I don’t know… rarely the wave. Just… just… all I can think of is “is.” It just is. And it is great. And it is fun. And it is a huge opportunity to grow and learn and become unselfish and to lose self-consciousness and be silly for a beautiful little creature that grins like a goon when I dance in the kitchen eating yummy yogurt.

So, anyways… these two waves. They’re kinda silly, but they’re my waves.

One was maybe a couple months ago. Elliot learned the word “puppy” when she watched Bolt on day with Suzie. She loved that show and she loved that puppy. This clip below would just mesmerize her. She would stare at the TV, with wide eyes full of concern, and gently tap her thigh (sign for “puppy”) while whispering—even just breathing at times—the word out loud… puppy… puppy…… And then Penny comes in and picks up Bolt and they hug and Elliot would smile so huge and pat her thigh with such excitement and look over at us with this face as though to say, “Can you believe it? They got together after all!” Too cute… But, I digress.

So, right after she first sees this movie, she starts saying “puppy” a lot (as in, as soon as she would wake up in the morning… first word) and eventually we started to put it together that she’s not just saying “puppy” for fun, she asking to watch the show. So we find it in the TV Guide and set the DVR to record it the next time it comes on. Later that night I’m holding her—I think we’re about to give her a bath—and she looks up at me with these begging eyes and says “puppy?” and I say, “Not tonight, baby… we can watch it tomorrow, though.”

BAM.

Wave #1.

Why? What’s the big deal?

It was our first real conversation. She asked for something—something I couldn’t give her—and I had to tell her, Sorry, I can’t. And then cushion the defeat: We can watch it tomorrow, though.

I was a DAD having a conversation with—not my baby—my little girl. Wild.

Wave #2.

Much less back story. And much more recent. As in tonight…

Typically Elliot sleeps all swaddled up because she’s such a squirmer than none of us get any sleep if she isn’t. But tonight, she was asleep (restlessly) on the bed without a blanket. And she woke up (or course) so I go pick her up to rock her back to sleep. I don’t grab the blanket—just her.

So she’s laying in my arms, hugging my body with one hand (because there’s no blanket in the way) and grabbing the neck of my shirt with the other—you better not leave, she’s telling me. I’m not letting go. And she drifts to sleep. Peacefully.

Her eyes don’t close all the way. And her mouth is slightly agape. But that babe is out. And in an instant, she looks, again, not just like a baby, but like a little girl. She’s beautiful and silly looking and she’s holding onto her daddy’s shirt. And that gives her the comfort to sleep.

And I’m trying to be ever so quiet as to not disturb her, but I can’t stop laughing because my wave is crashing over me. And, for some reason, that’s what I do when something dramatic and emotional and beautiful happens… I laugh.

white space

2010-03-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, Suzie, your post did intimidate me.

I wanted so bad—and still do—for you to write more and I loved the idea of sharing this blog (and still do), but what you wrote had so much more heart and depth than anything I’ve posted on here in years that I didn’t quite know how to follow your act.

For days I thought about what I could say, how I could build upon what you said, in what ways I could change the paradigm of this writing space and this is what I came up with:

It’s odd that I’m the one with the creative profession out of the two of us because your mind is amazing. And, yes, I know designers love to talk about “white space”, but in two weeks if that’s all I can come up with… it’s a little sad. ha.

ANYWAYS…

this isn’t a competition. I’m me and you’re you. And I hope that you keep writing. I love your mind and your words.

re: purgatory

2010-02-28T23:39:00.000-08:00

So cole i just wanted to post a thought in response to your terribly accurate reflection of the decision ahead of us. my thought stems from this really amazing story, but i've just included an excerpt because it was way too long and time is money! this is from a devotional given by stephen bahr, one of my old soc professors. eliza cusworth is his great great grandmother:

"Eliza Cusworth was born in england in 1824 and married Joseph Burton in 1846. they lived happily for a few years and had two children, Joseph and Martha. In 1849 two LDS missionaries came to the area, and both eliza and Joseph listened to them, gained testimonies of the gospel, and were baptized. the counsel of the prophet at that time was for the Saints to migrate to Utah. Joseph and eliza started saving so that they could make the journey. Joseph was employed as a carrier delivering goods from the depot to various stores. While lifting at work he broke a blood vessel, which resulted in his death a short time later. his dying request to eliza was for her to migrate to Utah so she could do their temple work and raise their children among the Saints in Zion. eliza promised him she would do this. Understandably, both eliza’s and Joseph’s families discouraged her from making what they said was “a foolish journey.” Eliza’s mother said that if eliza would stay with them, they would take care of her and her children, and she would want for nothing. Joseph’s family offered to give her any amount of money if she would stay in England. It was a difficult decision for eliza. however, she had made a promise to her dying husband, and she knew the gospel was true, so she chose to go. In the spring of 1856, at age 32, eliza packed her trunks and embarked on the 6,000-mile journey with Joseph and Martha, her two children."

So, as I read this I thought to myself, Eliza Cusworth was so strong, so determined! I am so impressed with her character and her strength, and I think that the Lord is impressed with her too. And then I think to myself, is the Lord impressed with me? I think he is probably pleased with some of the things I do and say and attempt, but I don't think he's impressed. My efforts aren't extraordinary. So, here is what I think about our situation. I don't really care if we move. I don't. Because I don't think that where we live will determine the kind of life we have. I know that our location in large part determines the kind of work you do, and there is something to that. But I think that no matter what we do, we need to be brave like eliza cusworth. We need to have courage and do things that are scary. Whether we move to Borneo or Portland or where ever, we will still need to stretch ourselves out of our comfort zones: I'm less scared of moving to a whole new place than I am to get back on my knees and ask for forgiveness for the same things I asked for yesterday and the day before that; we'll still need to figure out a way to connect with our families more, be better friends, be better neighbors, learn to really root out our selfish tendencies, and finally finally throw off the destructive habits that cripple us and stunt our progression. That is real purgatory. Living with the same problems we did when we were teenagers and trying to really find out who we are and what we believe. Do you know what I mean?

Sorry I'm so existential and maybe embarrassingly intimate. I'm trying in my journal to be more light hearted and say things like "today I went to bridal veil with my friends and it was funnest ever!" But I always end up at the same place. Are you sure you want me to be a contributor to this blog? Maybe you want to reconsider before i muddy it all up with my stream of consciousness. love you, suzie.

purgatory

2010-02-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

I played basketball tonight and got a black eye and a bruised knee… and I loved it. Loved every minute of it.

Tonight Suzie had Amalia, Sienna, Becky, and Celia over to make snicker doodles. And they gossiped and gabbed, talked about Lady Gaga, Haiti, furniture, Suzie’s hot new jeans, and Elliot busted a gut touching Celia’s baby’s nose… over and over again. The two “shes” in this family seemed to love every minute of it. And… I did, too. Good friends, good company. When you’re surrounded by love, what more do you need?

. . . . . . . . . .

For three and half years now, Suzie and I have been married. And for probably 80% of that time, we’ve been in constant flux of “we’re probably going to move at the end of the semester” or “we’ll move when Suzie gets into grad school” or “…when I get a job.” How many times we had those conversations, I have no idea. Many many.

And then Suzie did get accepted into grad school. In New York. This was our dream. Right? But we didn’t go.

Some of those reasons stay in the family. And some of them were based on a bad economy that would make finding a job hard. And some… really, were just based on we weren’t quite ready to go.

So we stayed.

And we’re happy.

And then we have Elliot and the options for grad school change. We look at part-time schools and schools by family… and schools by our family here—our friends. I use that word with all the emphasis I can. We have incredible friends.

Suzie was accepted to BYU and a couple schools in New York, including NYU. How cool, right? And how expensive… and, as cool as going to grad school at NYU sounded, it just didn’t quite feel right.

And so we decided BYU.

And again we stayed.

But this time there’s definition to our stay: 2 years. Two years and then we’re out of here. In two years we chase the job of my dreams.

Finally, a plan.

Four months later, we decide grad school’s not right for this family any more… not at this time. Someday, yes! Most assuredly, and I hope soon. But, not now.

So our short-lived time of a “planned life” has passed and we’re back in this “We’ll stay for maybe another year” purgatory. Honestly, our purgatorial state is pretty enjoyable. But, you can’t live there forever… right?

And so… do we stay?

Or…

Do we finally close the chapter on this wonderful life and start a new wonderful chapter somewhere else. Further away from our wonderful family of friends here, but maybe closer to our wonderful family of kin.

Are the uneasiness and sadness provoked by such thoughts just the natural feelings that stir at such a time of change? Or could they be inklings that maybe again…

We stay?

christmas morning

2010-02-17T23:00:00.000-08:00

i know, i know this is extremely—perhaps even pointlessly—late. but i already prefaced that as the theme for the next little bit: catching up.

so.

for the break we traveled to both seattle and north carolina, same as last year, but in reverse order. it’s good to see both families because we're so far away from everyone, but i will not lie: that is a LOT of travelling.

i’m not going to get into vacation details… it is too late for that. but I will show these shots from christmas morning up in seattle:

opening her first present.

suzie got her a little stuffed lamb because ever since elliot was born, she’s had this hilarious vibrato in her voice so she sounds like a little bleating lamb. seriously too, too cute. even her first heart-breaking cry when she was laying in the NICU all hooked up to tubes… i couldn’t help but laugh just a little because her cry was so cute.

as she grew up, it filled her laughs and her cooing and her excited outbursts.

these past couple weeks have been a bit bitter sweet because she's learning how to talk, saying things like “mama” and “dada” and “puppy” and “ball” and “book” and “bear” (which all sound peculiarly similar), and “nai-nai” when she’s tired and ready for bed… it’s great. but, the baby-version of the english language has all-but taken over for her little lamb bleats… every once in a while she does it still and it’s seriously a precious gem.

man… a little overly sentimental? i ’bout brought myself to tears! ha.

elliot’s just chilling on suzie’s lap… strangely placid.

beautiful suzie.

and… a smiling picture! there are more of these nowadays. ;)

tie-dye

2010-02-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

I kinda side-mentioned yesterday how sometimes I had a hard time getting out the door in the morning because I got sucked into various photo shoots with this baby. Well, this morning above was legit. I was like an hour late.

It was kind of dark that morning so I laid a lamp down on the floor to get “dramatic lighting” that I was oh-so-infatuated with. And, this tie-dye onesie from Sienna… I love it.

(An aside: I used to wear tie-dyes all the time in high school because I was a hippy. And then I had this hippie best friend who kinda turned out to be a lousy best friend so for years I’ve hated all things “hippie”—generally including tie-dyed clothes… but this piece won my heart back. I still don’t know that I’ll ever be able to don the multi-colored garb, but I fully condone Elliot wearing it.)

These were taken in October… she was 6 months. We’re 4 months away from the present.

valentines…

2010-02-14T23:43:00.000-08:00

my mom asked me to make her a valentine’s card to send off to friends & family. these are the “three special valentines” she mentions—jessie and aaron (my sister Kellie’s kids) and elliot. cute family.

belive it or not

2010-02-14T23:31:00.000-08:00

in other unrelated news… i am, somehow, still in a band. we’ve played like 3 times in the past year+ but the image above is evidence that there is still a pulse… even if faint. and thank goodness! after all these years, it is still fun.

we played saturday night at muse music. it was a pretty decent show, if not a bit frustrating that my fingers were about as light as rocks moving around the strings. oh well.

thanks jon, for the shot.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-02-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken in November… See how somber? *

the last time i posted was in November… and, that sounds about right.

After that, the home stretch and finals started heating up for suzie and holiday freelance work picked up for me on top of a mad rush at work leading up to the holiday break. and then the break came… It was so good to step away from all the busyness at home, but it wasn’t exactly a restful break because very quickly we noticed we had a problem: Elliot was 1000% more happy and growing and learning and developing at such a quicker rate than she was in the previous months. So what’s the problem, right? All this—we think, at least… it’s always kind of impossible to know for sure with babies— was because the poor baby’s parents finally had time to undividedly attend to her. And she blossomed like a spring flower. It was really fun. But it raised the question: Do we need to change our lifestyle? Well, that’s a no-brainer. Something had to give, we knew that even before the break. But, now… what?

For two and a half weeks we deliberated over this question. And, we came to different viable solutions every day. In the end, we knew that Suzie had to stop school to be home with her… that baby loves her mommy and just comes alive the more time she spends with her.

That was not an easy decision. I mean, especially for Suzie, right? We’ve been planning this for years—and suzie, her whole life—and now the plan needed to change. Superwoman. To do something like that is really impressive.

And then, the same day—the very same day—somewhat out of the blue, I decided it was time to move on from my job. It just hit me—I knew it. I had learned what I needed to learn there and contributed what I needed to contribute and we were at the end of the road. Or, maybe I should say something about a “crossroads” or a “new road” because I’m sure I could have stayed and learned more, but I didn’t want to. It was time for me to move on. So, I quit.

Also that same day a really big client hired me to do really big job in a really small amount of time. So, we breathe a sigh of release—all our burdens have been set aside; we opt for a simpler life. And then I sign up for a 80 hour a week job. Good timing, Cole…

And we’ve been wading through that, trying to keep our heads above water until about right now. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully we’ll be able to establish some balance in life going forward.

Through all of this, though, Elliot is thriving. She loves having her parents home with her. She’s crawling, walking (with hands), signing, talking a little bit, laughing, dancing, singing… She’s a happy baby. I’m going to try to play a little catch up over the next week or so and post some pictures from the past couple months. Hope you enjoy.

*ps: Elliot wasn’t somber or depressed, probably just bored… I like taking pictures of her when she makes those faces, though. I think they’re really cute. In fact, that morning I could barely get out the door to drop her off at the babysitters and go to work because I couldn’t stop taking pictures. Adorable baby… Obsessive, adoring dad…

korean baby!

2009-11-01T20:52:00.001-08:00

sometimes when i get elliot ready for the day, she’s so cute that I am practically bound by the laws of the universe/fatherhood to take an unnecessarily gaudy amount of photos of her. I’ll glady give 15 minutes of tardiness to work for these pictures. what i think is especially fun about these is that her 1/4 korean really shows up… where it typically does not at all.

clyde

2009-09-08T20:35:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago, we all flew back to NC to be there for the unveiling of the latest edition of the Cook clan, Clyde Wesley Lambe. These pictures were taken when he was still pretty warm from the oven—maybe three hours or so after arrival…? He’s a good lookin’ kid, huh? And, while Elliot’s got a good several pounds on him (at least, right?), I really think he may already be challenging her for the tallest grand-baby.
So, Lacey is Suzie’s oldest sister and she’s married to Wes and they are about the most insanely talented, creative, and awesome couple I’ve ever met. Wes builds, repairs, and plays guitars. He’s famous for his 8-string, fanned-neck electric. Kinda have to see it to believe it, so check it out. I play a little guitar, right? But when I pick that thing up, I may as well be playing the tuba… I’m completely lost. He is, of course, a virtuoso. It’s really incredible. And then Lacey paints and illustrates the most strangely adorable, intriguing, delicate works of art. Little monsters and bears and centipedes and other creatures make up this amazing world she depicts. I really wish I could show you (the anonymous “you” out there, whoever “you” may be), but the only way you can see it is by a personal invitation into Clyde’s nursery. Unfortunately… Take my word for it in the meantime.
Anyways… just wanted to introduce the new cousin. And, don’t you love the way all the sisters are crowded around in that last picture in ecstatic awe? Even Elliot’s getting in on the action… Cook through and through…

driving

2009-07-22T01:17:00.000-07:00

three months.

2009-07-18T14:10:00.001-07:00

Elliot turned 3 months yesterday and as a sort of surprise birthday present, Leo brought over a stack of photos that he shot the day we brought her home (like actually a stack of tangible photos just like in the old days—it was great). it’s so weird to see how much she’s grown. being with her every day, we don’t notice how much she’s changed, but looking at these it’s obvious to see those chubby sausage link legs did indeed used to be scrawny chicken legs.
thanks leo. happy birthday, etsy. and… happy birthday to suzie, too, this coming Monday. (also, my brother, Chris: happy birthday to you, too.) so much celebration!

chatting

2009-07-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

chapter two.

2009-06-21T23:49:00.001-07:00

this year we:
1. got a real job (cole)
2. got accepted and—as of 6/22/09—started to grad school (suzie)
3. had a baby (technically suzie, but i had a little something to do with that)
4. moved into a bigger house (cole, suzie, elliot)

for two months i’ve been wanting to write about this “dramatic new shift” in our life—turning the page from chapter one to two, but in reality, the shift has been less than dramatic. it’s just been life: it’s been busy and fun and stressful and more busy (it’s taken me four weeks and change to watch the first half of Slumdog Millionaire…).
so, it makes me wonder: are big events supposed to feel big? or are we just supposed to roll with the punches and keep on keeping on? my hunch is that life is too busy to properly celebrate change. and that makes me a bit sad…

vacuuming…

2009-06-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

for a chapter 2 of life present, my parents gave us this slick grown-up person vacuum machine. it’s high-tech enough that i figured i should read (skim, whatever) the instruction manual and as i was doing so i learned about this fancy red/green light on the front of the machine that tells you if you need to keep vacuuming (read: picking up lots of dirt)—red light—or if you’re good to go—green light.
so today i finally busted it out and started on our front room. now, i figured it would be dirty just because that’s life, things get dirty, and we haven’t had time to vacuum since we’ve moved in, but i had no idea the extent………………
in twenty minutes (i don’t think i’m exaggerating) i vacuumed about 1/3 of our living room to the point where the green light came one. i spent like five minutes alone one one strip right by the door where the red light would NOT go off. couldn’t believe it…
chapter two: maintaining a clean house, not just illusion of one. :(

contrasting emotions.

2009-06-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

blessed

2009-06-08T18:20:00.001-07:00

yesterday we blessed elliot at church.
it was… a little overwhelming.
i mean, how do you address and cover all that a human being is to encounter in this life in a few short minutes? where to begin?! and, where to end?
life is exciting and it’s scary. it’s fun and it’s sad. it’s dangerous and adventurous and opportunities are infinite (as are my hopes for her) and i want her to excel in all of them. and not like the get an A in math class type of excellence—though if that’s what she wants, that’s fine, too—but more the type of excellence of character to handle moments that weave a tapestry of a life that is FULL—a life of joy and experience, a story filled with friends and love and laughter and pain (because you can’t have any of the former without that key latter ingredient) and then triumph after that pain, back to love and laughter and joy.
i felt like all these possible scenarios went flying through my mind and i wanted to pray her the power and wisdom, the love and humility, the integrity, the humor, and the moxie to just be awesome! to be, like… the very best elliot jane that she can be.
how do you say all this? and all to such a very little human being… it would crush her, wouldn’t it?
so i didn’t say much (the words come now much more than then, standing there in the silence with a couple hundred ears listening in on the most intimate conversation that i desperately wanted to have with her). i hope Heavenly Father understood what i meant, though, and i imagine He did. i hope over the years he teaches me, too, what i meant because i’m still not sure i fully understand. and then i hope He helps me to teach her what i meant.

you know, though, i should mention one thing that i said that was actually specific (i think the only specific thing i mentioned): i want her to learn from her mom. doing that, she can’t go too wrong, i don’t think.

guitars

2009-06-02T20:09:00.001-07:00

a couple weeks ago, ashley invited saint sebastian’s up to play at her birthday party. we took up about the whole room, i think caused the cops to get called, and played rough-at-best, but it was a fun night—proof by micah’s smile in picture 1. we had only played once (the week before) in the past six months. really sad.
i also noted on facebook (where i stole these pics from an unknown yet talented photographer) that if nothing else, our band probably has the best-looking set of instruments in the area. unfortunately bret’s red and silver sparkly drum set couldn’t fit into the shot.
and ps, why are drummers always overlooked? bret may be the best part of our band…

growing up… already!?

2009-06-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

so we got our new camera… i haven’t really figured out how to take beautiful images with it yet, but at least there are images. and the model’s beautiful, so that counts for something—probably a lot more than my shoddy photo skills do.
and in case you were wondering, elliot turned into a baby two days ago. before that, sure she showed some signs of humanity, but was still that infanty, blobby (albeit adorable) creature. now, though, she’s a baby. !!!
it’s so weird to already be saying things like: she’s growing up so fast… Next thing we know, she’s sneaking out at night and kissing boys. crazy.

bath time

2009-06-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

baby does not much care for bath time. you can see in the first picture she’s kinda starting to calm down, yet still eying us with suspicion… and then, she was gone again.
and why do i take so many pictures of her crying? because she sounds like a bleating goat and is so dang pathetically cute! does that make me a bad dad?

good morning

2009-05-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

i should take this time to thank Tony and Sienna for letting us borrow their camera. we would have ZERO photos if it weren’t for their generosity. i should maybe also take this time to promise them that i will return it soon. very soon.

wow geez

2009-05-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

wow geez.
when you haven’t updated something in nearly half a year, it’s like there’s no point to even try to play catch up, right? so i won’t.
except for this: we have a baby now.

wow geez, huh?
she—it’s a girl—was born on april 17th around 3 in the morning. suzie was a superstar. delivered her in less than 2 hours after we stepped through the doors of the hospital. and Moxie—as she was nick-named at the time—showed a lot of, well, moxie on her D-Day, surviving a scary few minutes where she got stuck on the way out and stopped breathing for a couple seconds after she was out.
i was totally ambivilent to the brevity of what was going on—like 15 people frantically running into the room doing CPR with machines and tubes and beeps and boops. it didn’t seem all that unusual or scary to me because that exact event has happened 100% of the times that we’ve had a baby.
anyways, to make a longish story shortish, after a stint in the NICU, and a couple week demotion to Special Care, we brought her home last weekend. and “her” is Elliot Jane.

in the NICU… she was surprisingly cute even with all the tubes. pathetic and sad, but still legitimately adorable.

this was the day before suzie’s mom left. baby put on a show.

and finally, after we brought her home on friday or saturday. those little socks kill me.

alright, more will come. but this is it for now.
world, meet elliot; elliot meet world.

weird beard frame

2008-12-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

this past summer I grew a beard. it was atrocious. hideous. offensive. and very itchy-scratchy. i never liked it, but Chris Crosby told me i needed to keep it for at least 6 weeks. so i did. and then i shaved it. immediately.
for christmas, suzie made me a frame to commemorate that special time in my life:

beautiful.
and gross.

happy holiday~!

2008-12-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

jon canlas sent this over to me today from our vacation in hawaii several months ago.
it feels fitting for today, though. take away the lay and the tiki torches and the palm tree, i suppose, but I relaxation, the love, the happiness—although I think we were actually in a bit of a faux-fight at the time—is about right.
I’m just finishing up the last of my very-most pressing work and packing up the studio. and we have one more day of snowfall and cold feet, but then it’s off to 70º durham for christmas with suzie’s family.
and that will be great.
merry christmas to anyone out there in cyberland who stumbles across this.
god bless.

last day in the amanda knight…

2008-12-19T09:40:00.000-08:00

photo by: daniel vineyard

the empty room that we turned into a cozy little studio in the back of the amanda knight hall is no more. most of the books are removed, the computers taken down and set out for deployment elsewhere, our map curtains are rolled back up and stored in a closet, and the miscellaneous musical equipment that spiced up the room is all packed away.
it’s official: we’re getting kicked out of the amanda knight hall.

and it’s a little weird. anyone that knows me probably well knows the amanda knight hall. much to suzie’s shagrin, the akh has become a second home of sorts (though I think even she will miss it a bit once it’s gone).
there’s been a lot of good times here, a lot of crazy stressful times, times of frustration and success. i’ve been in the hall for five years now, and probably spent 50+ full nights here—and countless full days. and while at times there’s a bit of embarassment that i still go to “school” everyday and i’ve yet to receive any sort of official degree, it’s a really uncomfortable feeling to be kicked out. justified or not, i’ve taken an ownership and a kinship to an inanimate building that i have no right to. and we’ve built a friendship with Amanda Knight the person—or the ghost—who always seems to look out for and provide for us.
but, time to move on, i guess—all part of growing up: looking for a real job, having a baby!, leaving school at 27… it all happens so fast, right? right?!

Suzie says whatever it takes to “get me excited…”

2008-12-12T15:09:00.000-08:00

Well, this is pretty cute.

Now she won’t ever have to go to the grocery store without some One’s that’s clean and a shirt with a team.

…

bring a torch…

2008-12-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

Suzie and I made this video last year, but never quite got around to sending it out.
It’s quiet and seemingly slow, but it’s rewarding… so, give it a minute.
Happy Christmas, friends…

~c+s

summer holgas

2008-12-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

In attempts to forget the snow that fell yesterday here in Utah, I’m going to post some long lost pics from our vacation to the Northwest this past summer. I have lots more 35mm I may post tomorrow or something. But, just the holgas for today.
Leo—thanks for developing, scanning, and delivering my film for me. You’re awesome.

have you ever wanted to have like five of you?

2008-12-08T16:51:00.000-08:00

Micah and i used to have this conversation quite a bit…
If there was five of me I would have one that would give everything to being a rock star, go on tour and all that; one that would get married and do the home and family thing; one that would work like crazy on all the insane-awesome, time-consuming, unpaying projects your job doesn’t allow you to do; one would travel the world and gather all the experience, stories, and knowledge it has to offer; and one… i guess to chase the girls you didn’t marry. I don’t remember what the last one was supposed to be, but that’s not a horrible option. At least not if there’s five of me, right?
Well… recently I’ve started to feel like that dream has come true. Only, it’s become a nightmare. Digitally, I’m reproducing exponentially like worms cut in half. It’s gotten out of hand and I feel at times like I’m suffering an identity crisis. Sometimes I’m cole#1 when I’m really supposed to be #3. And so on and so forth.
Here’s what I mean:

colenielsen.com
colenielsen.com/blog
colenielsen.com/blog3
crosstowntrains.blogspot.com
thechildrenkids.blogspot.com

and there may be more, but I really can’t keep track anymore…

So here’s the point of all this: if you have interest in cole#1, please follow cole#1’s story; if your interest is in cole#2, please don’t be bothered by cole#1, #3, #4, or #5.
Is this sounding narsicistic? It’s not supposed to be. It’s more of an apology.
I saw Chris Coy the other day and he said to me: I used to read your blog, but I don’t care about the Sonics so I stopped. And I don’t blame him! Our connection is design, not basketball. No one—not even my wife—has interest in all these various web pressences, so I’m sure neither do you.

I have a new website up, so if you want to see my finished design work, don’t look here! Look there. It’s not 100% complete, but it gets closer everyday.
And, to go along with that, I have a new design blog. Everything there will be design-related posts all the time. (Same address as the last one, but I think it may need to be reloaded into GoogleReader… sorry)
If you want to know what’s happening with Children Kids, don’t hold your breath. You’ll die. We’re working hard. It’s just so so slow. And we get plenty of ribbing about it, I assure you. I promise to keep you updated.
And last, if for some reason your heart feels kindly toward me and can stand to bare my ramblings about basketball, suzie, music, life, religion, travels, or what have you… you’re actually in the right place. Congratulations.
and thanks.

good day.
and, farewell to a few of you, I suppose. I would say it’s been nice, but most of the time I feel 100% like I’m talking to myself. There could be worse things. I suppose.

…

I was going to publish, but then I thought: If someone actually made it this far, they deserve a treat. And so, here it is: my new favorite song. Don’t hold your breath for this one either. It’s a long one. But it’s worth it. All 620 seconds of it.
~!

saint sebastian's q&a with muse music (3 of 3)

2008-12-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

last one…

What can you tell me about your instruments? (i.e., Are you subject to brand loyalty or will you play with whatever’s available? What made you choose the instruments you have now?)
LEO: I use a Rickenbacker 4003 Bass. I'm not loyal to a brand, but I won't just play whatever’s laying around. I love guitars so I chose quality instruments. I've loved Rickenbacker basses since I was twelve. I went to the music store and tried it and I bought it.

MICAH: Mine were the best sounding instruments for my budget. And they’re all classic instruments. The amp is a remake of a classic Fender amp. And the Danelectro—while not the most sturdy guitar—the sound is a classic sound. I don’t really have brand loyalty, but aesthetic loyalty—It's gotta sound good and look good. I don’t have a sponsor, so i have no loyalty. My loyalty can be bought—or at least paid for.
COLE: I’m never totally comfortable with what I have because I always kinda of feel out of place in the world of electric instruments. So I like trying new things out—be it pedals or amps or guitars if someone has one to loan. But, recently, I’ve started growing into my sound and would be less apt to swap. I think I finally found the guitar that fits me… and I can’t even think of what it’s called right now. Bummer.
(fender telecaster t90)

What advice do you have for people who want to write and perform their own music?
COLE: Anytime you step out of your comfort zone, it’s generally going to be appreciated by the audience. Be honest. Don’t give too much heed to the trends. Provo’s much too mired in them as it is.
LEO: Do whatever you want to do. Be yourself.
MICAH: Quit. Go get a job. haha. It’s addictive. It's hard to get out of. I can’t stop. It will ruin your life.
BRET: Do it. Just go on tour as soon as you can if you’re serious.

How can fans-to-be gain access to your music? Do you have a website with sample songs or a CD?
LEO: Yes. Myspace.com/sss4wg.
COLE: And like a million other places littered throughout the web via CD Baby. even iTunes. We do have a CD.

Any last words?
LEO: Queria mandar un saludo a todos los que me conocen. Y, siganme que no los voy a defraudar.

see you tomorrow night~

saint sebastian's q&a with muse music (2 of 3)

2008-12-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

(continued from yesterday)

In what ways does living in Provo, or other places you have lived effect music you create or your music taste?
LEO: Places don't effect the music i create or my musical taste.
MICAH: I never really look to my surroundings for musical inspiration. The scenes in Rexburg and here are really different now… there’s a lot of synth and tight jeans.
COLE: I don't really feel like we’ve ever been very connected to the Provo scene. Not that we're above it or anything, we just never really seemed to fit. Ugly duckling or something.
BRET: Living in Provo has put a bad taste in my mouth for playing music. Everyone takes themselves so seriously, and does absolutely nothing to warrant it. Bands play at same venues once every other month and put out a CD every two years. Whenever the new fans arrive in the fall they can pretend they are celebrities for a while. I have resigned myself from trying to do anything about it. Any band that doesn't fit into the already established mold is shunned, and any band who sucks up to said celebrities is privileged. It's more funny than anything. The only reason to write music anymore is Provo is and try and piss people off.

What band or musician do you love? Is the music you listen to similar or different from your own?
COLE: The music that i listen to is often quite different from what we play. I like artists like Jens Lekmen and Beirut—artists that really make the most of their instrumentation. And I love, love, love The Beatles. Also, I’ve been really into hip hop like the Blue Scholars and Kanye West.

Can you describe the music making process for you as a group?
MICAH: um……… It would be nice if that were clearer.
COLE: Broken.
MICAH: Basically, it’s been “Micah has an idea and he brings it to the band,” but now, the whole band tries to bring something to the table.
COLE: Part of dealing with the change that I mentioned earlier is re-learning how to make new music in a new way. We combine in the music writing process more now than we used to, but we still haven’t quite learned how to be what we want to be.

What are the main themes of your songs? Do you think these topics will change over time?
LEO: I have no idea.
COLE: Micah writes a lot about growing up, i think. it's hard to understand a lot of what he says.
MICAH: If you look at How to do Everything Correctly, the overall theme of the entire album is revisiting childhood. Now I kinda wait for the song to dictate what it’s going to be about. It starts out as a mumble to a melody. And then some words will form. Then some more. And then it starts to becomes about something. And, eventually, it has meaning—it turns into something. Once i know what the songs about, I can go back and actually write the song because I have a subject.

How has your music evolved since you first started songwriting?
MICAH: It’s gotten better. haha.
LEO: I don't think it's changed that much. Technology changes, but songwriting is still the same.

Do you have a favorite song to perform?
LEO: Carpal Tunnel.

COLE: Yeah, that's at the top because it is, musically, probably our best compositions. And Kandahar has been really fun because it's a dirty, happy, rock song and both us and the audience tend to enjoy it. But, I think our favorite changes.
MICAH: I’m hoping that our new song will be our favorite song to perform. It's pretty cool… I like what we do.
COLE: Exactly. If we ever have something new that generally jumps to the top.

more tomorrow! betchu can’t even wait…

saint sebastian's q&a with muse music (1 of 3)

2008-12-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

In attempt to get a little promotion for our show this saturday at Muse Music in provo, Jake Haws (owner, manager, musician, sound and recording tech at muse) asked the four of us some questions. If I learned some stuff about my own band that I’ve been playing in for years, I thought some of you might find a thing or two of interest…

So you guys have an interesting name. What is the inspiration behind it?
MICAH: We were looking for something sassy. “Saint Sebastian's School for Wicked Girls” came from The Simpsons when Milhouse's girlfriend was sent off when the two of them were caught kissing in Bart’s treehouse.

Who is in the band and what role do they play?
MICAH: Me, Cole, Leo, Bret… Our roles are becoming less distinguished as we go on. We’re more equals, all writing and producing the music.

How long have you all known each other and how did you meet?
COLE: Micah and I have known each other since ’99. We met at a battle-of-the-bands type concert at Ricks college. We’ve been playing together almost straight since then. During one span when we weren’t—while I was in Korea—I introduced a friend to Micah and they eventually formed a band in 2002 called Magnolia. Leo was in that band. So, Micah and Leo have been playing together ever since then. And then Bret’s the drummer that didn't leave us. He’s been with us since last year and we hope he doesn’t leave soon.

How did you first get interested in music and/or playing music?
LEO: I’ve always been interested in music. I remember watching crappy ’80s videos with my sister after watching the Thundercats. That’s a pretty big part of my childhood—cartoons and music videos.

MICAH: I just started writing music when i was little. I always have, always will…
BRET: I started playing in clubs when I was 13. It has pretty much been a staple in my life since then.

What aspect of making music excites you the most right now?
LEO: Creating, playing, performing… it’s always been the same and it will never change.

What aspect of making music gets you the most discouraged?
COLE: Struggling to write new songs, to change with our personal growth and interests, and to balance making music with work and family life.
MICAH: Originally, we just want to be this straight rock thing and it’s not really us anymore, nor is it very appealing. But bringing in those things that would make it more appealing takes so much time and it seems like the band’s more of an afterthought now. We don’t have the time to put in the kind of time it would require to do what we want to do.
COLE: But we’re still trying. Goonies never say die…

…hmmm, that’s kind of a depressing note to end on. but there will be more tomorrow. :)

All becomes vibrant and alive…

2008-12-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

Suzie left a message on my phone today telling me that Elder Wirthlin passed away last night. Over the past few years, Joseph Wirthlin endeared himself to our hearts as we learned to look through his uncomfortable and monotonous delivery in General Conference and actually hear the heart of his message. Most of his talks were filled with an energetic optimism and love of life and people, not to mention annectdotes from his glory days on the football field.
I pulled a few of my favorites quotes from recent addresses. Also, maybe take a minute to (re)read his last words to us on a whole—“Come what may, and love it”—words that epitomize the approach that he took to life.

“Love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life… True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us.… As you prayerfully consider what you can do to increase harmony, spirituality, and build up the kingdom of God, consider your sacred duty to teach others to love the Lord and their fellowman. This is the central object of our existence. Without charity—or the pure love of Christ—whatever else we accomplish matters little. With it, all else becomes vibrant and alive.”

—from The Great Commandment (this talk you may remember being given as his body shook uncontrollably. I don’t know what the medical cause or if it was triggered by anxiety or what, but he stood strong and delivered, in spite of his mortal frailty, an extrememly powerful discourse on love.)

“To all who are weary, let the comforting words of the Savior console you: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Let us rely on that promise. The power of God can infuse our spirits and bodies with energy and vigor. I urge you to seek this blessing from the Lord.”

—from Concern for the One

“I urge you to examine your life. Determine where you are and what you need to do to be the kind of person you want to be. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that fire your imagination and create excitement in your heart. And then keep your eye on them. Work consistently towards achieving them.”

—from Life’s Lessons Learned

chronicles of a nba fan without a team to love. part 2.

2008-10-31T10:45:00.000-07:00

i envisioned these chronicles to continue. i thought they’d be a fun coping mechanism to get over the loss of my team. i thought i’d have something interesting to say, some light to shed into the mind of the hopelessly devoted (and lonely) sports fan.
but after only half a week of casual courting, my interest has already begun to wane and my sentiments toward the nba increasingly bitter as their “nba cares” commercials constantly mock me during the course of the game.
one thing that i do have to say has surprised me is how quickly i’ve started the healing process of my heartbreak with the Sonics. i thought i’d secretly follow the Thunder (daH! stupid name!!) as thoroughly as i did the Sonics. and while i haven’t completely turned them off from my radar, i care relatively little—like the first time you see an ex-girlfriend and realize you don’t care too much to keep her in your life anymore. not that you dislike her, just increasing indifference…

sorry, damien.

chronicles of a nba fan without a team to love. part 1.

2008-10-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

today is a very big day in my life. the day i look again for love.
once again, i look to drizzlier, drearier climes—to port towns, from one side of the united states to the other.
i look to portland and its youthful vigor, its humble hope, and its promise of the future.
i look to boston for its proud legacy, its confident maturity, and its swagger of victory.
do i chase likeable youth in hopes of love for life?
or do i hitch to security now, in spite of suspicions the road may end just beyond the horizon?
i've never had to make this decision before. it’s awkward and forced. practical and presumptuous.
my last love was inherited. it was profound and unexpecting. my loyalty was fierce and illogical. through sickness and in health, till death did us part.
but, death did us part.
so now… questions. quizzes. contemplations.
what next?
first date’s tonight at 6.

SEGO report.

2008-10-01T14:47:00.001-07:00

posted by someone here… crazy thing is that it’s actually us.

in case anyone was wondering…

we played the kick-off at SEGO on friday night. i was pretty excited about that because it’s a great spot, a great venue—outside—and it’s a big, free deal—a BFD. so lots of people are there and all that.
anyways… one trillion and three things went wrong i guess and we got on stage an hour and a half late (we were the second band) and after we rushed to set up, we had to wait about another half an hour to do set up microphones and do sound checks and all that. everyone was super antsy and was probably blaming us for being so slow to start playing—I know they were blaming the band before us for being so slow, but i’m guessing it wasn’t their fault either…
At any rate, we finally start playing and my nerves are going crazy because I want to make everybody’s experience worth their 3 hour wait, so i’m probably trying harder than i should have been. and i make like twenty-seven mistakes in the first song. and bret, our drummer, couldn’t hear a thing. and leo’s bass amp was cutting in and out. and the crowd was like: you serious? we waited for this? and that made me feel moderately-to-extremely bad.
so we jump into another song. nothing. i still felt a total disconnect from the crowd. (i tend to feel that way 1) during “big” shows, and 2) when i don’t sleep in the nights preceding the “big” show—more on that later…) so another song—a Smith’s cover that people generally like, and even though we botch our way through it, old-school indie kids (like Micah) tend to like that we play it.
but about a minute into the Hand of God came down and unplugged EVERYTHING. He was like: I can’t take another second of this monstrosity. and so He pulled the plug. literally. (if, in fact, it wasn’t God, but either some friend or foe who did the deed—thank you.)
i think everyone was ready to cut their losses and get off that cursed stage, but like 5 minutes later the power’s back on and so we continue our (abbreviated) set. the sound seemed to be better. I think bret could hear everything else at this point. the crowd—simply starved for entertainment, I’m sure—started getting into what we we playing. that did help the general mood, but it didn’t help my playing: i dropped my pick like 10 times (something I haven’t hardly done since high school), i screwed up my riffs, i missed chords, i turned my sound off instead of turning another effect on, and on and on.
and then I dropped my pick again and i had had it. fortunately the song was a bit of a rowdy one because i started pounding on and slapping my guitar like it was a limp punching bag. i was beating it not because i was in some sort of nirvana-esque realm of rocking-out; i was beating on the thing because i was bloody pissed off. literally. i cut my hand on the strings and there was blood all over my guitar. that’s when the waive of adrenaline and regret (my hands and wrist really was hurting!) started rushing through my veins and my hands started shaking like crazy—which made it all the more difficult to play.
the rest of the show was more-or-less more of that.
but then, get this: apparently it wasn’t as horrible as i felt it was (that’s what rob said: it wasn’t as horrible as you think it was) because this girl came over after and was like: something something i’ve been wanting to hear you guys for six months something something can i have your guitar pick? now i told you before that i dropped a bunch of picks. i lost like three that night. and the picks that i use, i ONLY use these picks. and i think they’ve stopped making the things because i can’t find them anywhere. so i have like three left and she’s asking for one. i kinda joke and say: oh, i lost so many tonight and they’re irreplaceable and bla bla bla, and she said: don’t worry, i’ll take extra special care of it.
so now i only have two picks.

that’s how sego went.

for “how sego went part 2” (saturday sego), check this out and scroll down a skosh.

sego opening night kick-off poster

2008-09-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

this is a quickie that i threw together last night for Saint Sebastian’s show this weekend at SEGO. we’re playing around 8pm Friday night on 1st North and University Avenue in Provo. there’s a band before us—Somber Party—that starts around 7, so if you’re thinking of coming, be a doll and come early. stay late.

ps: let’s give some shout outs to Rachel Van Wagner for the amazing watercolors she so graciously lets me use. thanks~!

left field…

2008-09-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

i was working on the layout for a scene in the first episode of children kids and, almost without knowing it, i had placed myself in zak’s world. all this time, have i really just been creating my dream world?

my talk with mr stern

2008-08-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

It’s been 33 days since the news broke: “Last-minute Deal lets Sonics move to Oklahoma City.”
Since then I’ve tried mostly to pass it off as a fatality of the corruptness of businessmen, of the sad truth that money always wins, and of the consequence of what happens when a city hurts the vanity of a proud sports commissioner. I’ve passed it off as the dirty politics and the reality behind the scenes of sport I love best. All this to make me feel angry and wronged and like: “Well, what can you do in the face of Evil Empires?”
One time I almost cried. A few days after the fact I was talking on the phone with my mom about it. We were the two diehard fans in the family. We would watch all the games together from start to finish, regardless of whether the team was winning or losing that year. She told me she cut out the Seattle Times special on the Sonics and asked if I wanted her to save it. I teared up as I asked her to send it down to me in Utah.
Recently, I’ve been dreaming about the team a lot. Three times in the past ten days or so I’ve woken up to the persistence of seemingly all-night dreams about basketball and about my team. And this coming from someone who typically can’t remember any dreams I dream during the night.
This morning I was talking to David Stern. I’m not sure how I won the honor of being in his presence, but he was there and I was there and I ripped into him good. I yelled. I screamed. I cussed and cursed him and his dirty business and his dirty, backdoor politics and his dirty relationship with that dirty Oklahoman. I shouted at him at the top of my lungs until he left the room.
Then I took a breath and regained my composure.
He came back. I’m not sure why, but he did. And I was more levelheaded this time. I didn’t apologize because I said what I really meant. But I was ready to talk.

“When I was in the second grade I started listening to the Sonics. Not many games were televised back then so my family crowded around an AM Radio and listened to Kevin Calabro and Bob Blackburn call the games. I think that was Calabro’s first season with the Sonics. He would go on to completely alter the way basketball sounded to me over the airwaves with his rich baritone that would shoot to through the rafters with each Reign Man dunk—Good Golly Miss Molly! Get on that Magic Carpet and Ride…
“Did you hear that Kevin is going to be announcing soccer games now? He refused to go to Oklahoma. He was a Sonic and he knew what that meant: a dedication to game and, more so, to the city. I read an article about it yesterday; said the reality of it all still hurts everyday. You don’t love and live for something two decades the way he did and just get over it.
“Anyways, back then the Seattle-Portland rivalry was especially hot. I think Portland was the better team, but the games were always fiercely competitive. I would bounce around the room, acting out every reported move behind my parents, seated on the carpet below. I jumped and dove and pretended to dunk as I tried to swat the seven-foot door jambs overhead. I could never reach, though. I was too small and they were too high. But then the call came tensely through the old speakers: ‘Three seconds left, Nate works the ball around to Sedale Threat. Two seconds, he steadies, foot behind the line. He shoots. Good if it goes… IT’S GOOD! Sonics Win! Sedale Threat buried the three pointer at the buzzer and send the Blazers back down I-5 with their heads hung low. It’s barnyard mayhem down here at the Coliseum tonight! Good Golly Miss Molly…’
At the call, I exploded with excitement and soared toward the ceiling above. My hands outstretched, I hit the door jamb with such energy that my tiny fingers tingled in the aftermath. For the next several years, the walls would be marked with dirt-stained, fingerprints above every door in the house.
“On the flip side, I also—if not more vividly—remember Terry Porter’s triple-overtime, game-winning, three pointer that counted, although replays showed the ball released from his finger tips milliseconds after the final buzzer sounded. I never forgave him or those bad refs. Their sins stung in my tears. After the game, my dad pulled me aside and warned that if I didn’t stop crying after every Sonic loss, there would be no more basketball. I guess I hoped if I withheld my tears after this loss that somehow there would be still be Sonic Basketball.
“My dad called the day of the deal to vent his frustration. He played off fair-weather throughout the years, griped about the insane payrolls of players like Danny Fortson who made millions to whine on the bench, complained that his tax dollars shouldn’t be buying the billionaire owners new arenas, but when the reality that the Seattle Supersonics were no more, it hurt him, too.
“I remember when the Sonics faced the Bulls in the Finals back in ’96 Finals, my dad bought a Bulls jersey from Value Village and pinned a rainbow-dyed clown wig to it. It was supposed to be Dennis Rodman. He shut the tail-end of the jersey in the trunk of our old Jetta and drug it behind us through the whole series.
“After I left for college, I think he took up my role of watching games with my Mom. He would call and recap the highlights for me. I had already listened to them on the internet, but it was always good to talk basketball with him.
“My whole childhood was colored by basketball. I loved Michael Jordan—one time I even got to wear Air Jordans, the VI’s; they’re huge retro hits now. I hung my tongue in the air like him when I would slash into the lane with a highlight finger-roll. I collected cards and traded to get the best rookie card that year. I knew nearly every stat—number, team, points/rebounds/assists per game, college, height, weight, and hometown—of nearly every player in the league. Even now, those facts stick to my mind like glue. I loved basketball. I loved the NBA. But most of all, I loved the Seattle Supersonics—with that illogical and undying hometown love.
“You know how my favorite player was growing up? It wasn’t Michael Jordan. He was huge—I’m still caught in his dream—but he wasn’t my favorite. My favorite was Dana Barros. You remember him? He kind of had an unfortunate career always placed behind all-stars. One year he did get to shine and averaged 20 ppg for the Sixers. The next year, they drafted Alan Iverson. When he was a Sonic, he was mostly a late-game performer—they pulled him in when they needed threes to catch up in a hurry. But there was something about his swagger when he did step on the court that was beyond cool in my eyes.
“I didn’t get to go to many games as a kid. NBA games were always too expensive to bring a family to. How do you feel about that, by the way? Anyways, but in 1993, a friend of mine had season tickets and I got to go to like 8 home games. One of them was against the Hornets. The Sonics jumped out to a 20-to-zero lead early in the first quarter. And do you know who the hero of that game was? Dana Barros. I don’t know why. Maybe there was an injury to a started or maybe George just gave him a chance to shine, but he was the star. He had three alley-oops that game, several three pointers, and was totally unstoppable. After the game he was interviewed at center court by Kevin Calabro and awarded the player of the game. I was standing by down in the tunnel. After the interview, as Dana ran off to the locker I chased him all the way to the door practically and got his signature. You can imagine the high I got from that. You can imagine that when I went to the playground and impersonated NBA plays, my tongue wasn’t wagging like Michael Jordan; I was the quick-as-lightning, lights-out assassin, high-flying point guard, Dana Barros. That kind of magic to a kid is special. You don’t get that from watching a game on TV.”

We spoke all morning. He was surprisingly respectful—maybe that’s how I knew it was a dream. I told him about every memory I had. I told him about seeing Detlef in the park. About Sleepy Sam’s fade-aways against the Rockets in the playoffs. About Kevin Durrant’s 40-foot fall-away 3-pointer at the Rocky Mountain Review in SLC that Suzie and I attended on her birthday. And about cheering for Ray Allen (as a Celtic) for five minutes before the start of the game last winter break because he was a true Sonic. That was the last Sonic game I ever saw in person. It was a Christmas present from my parents.
We talked and talked and talked and talked about all this and more—as if somehow my talking would eventually convince him to return our Sonics to Seattle. It didn’t, of course, because even in my dreams, I knew there was no undoing what had already been done.
I got up to leave and thank him for his time, I suppose. I was still mad, but I had calmed to the point where social graces were within my realm of capability. As I left—and before I finally decided to let this dream end and get out of bed—I turned and said: “You took my team away. And while you can’t touch my memories, you did rob me of their future.”
Good bye.

the unspoken vowel.

2008-07-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

finally, the real story of my upbringing has been released!

if i could turn back time…

2008-07-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

X-Man—you got the wrong guy. THIS is how it should have been…

Really, though, I'm still not ready to talk much about this whole Sonics-leaving-Seattle-thing. But I did like what J.A. Adande over at ESPN had to to say. Maybe he got the idea from my blog post back in April. eh. probably not. It's a pretty obvious take. Obvious because it's Truth: the NBA does not care. sad.

Rest in Peace…

2008-07-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

what can you even say? ???

Typophilers UNITE!

2008-07-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

The opening credits to the 4th annual Typophile Film Festival continue to rake in the awards. Currently it is a finalist for ADAA and an Honorable Mention in the I.D. Student Design Review.
not bad, I reckon. thanks, y’all ~

Now if I can just borrow some of that lucky dust for Children Kids.

all tuckered out…

2008-06-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to the 12:01 showing of Pixar’s WALL•E and get this: I slept through like half of it! Not that my actions are any critique on the movie. From what I saw through struggling eyes, it looked soooooooooo awesome! And refreshingly didactic. Check it out—but maybe not at 12:01.
man…

“The question we need to ask is: ‘are we okay being bobblehead people?’”

2008-06-27T08:07:00.000-07:00

This past week Suzie, Ama, and I headed NW to Seattle and Oregon. We spent most of the time in Seaside, Oregon. We stayed right by this statue. (I’m pretty sure this image had a little photoshop work done on it… you think?)
Seaside is a town full of candy shops, ice cream shops, knick knack souvenir shops, arcades, and restaurants. We bought lots of candy. Ate some really good Tillamook ice cream. and…
of course the knick knacks.

So we thought this JAWA bobblehead was about as awesomely kitsch as you can get. So we celebrated that and bought it.
And then walking on Canon Beach (a beach that literally squeaks under the friction of your feet!) Suzie found this piece of driftwood, brought it home, and put it next to our JAWA treasure.

cool.

i have good friends.

2008-06-18T02:01:00.000-07:00

So how impressive are my friends?
I’m a HUGE Sonics fan, right? Well, a while back I talked about how when Sonics leave Seattle (like a player leaving, not the team—though that might happen as well) I still follow them no matter what. Well, Ray Allen was one of my favorites. And with the Sonics spending more time in court than on the court, I really fell for Ray Ray’s new team, the Boston Celtics. And it’s not just puppy love… I think it might be the real deal.
So tonight they won the NBA Championship. And while they were winning it out in Boston, I was out running 3 zillion errands on the Wasatch Front—125 miles on the tachometer and like 5 hours worth or errands. Yet while I was running these errands I rest assured that the surprise of game 6 was held safe by my DVR.
But then the rest of modern technology interfered.
Chris Crosby.
Bardhi.
My dad.
All calling or texting to tell me something about the game or Ray Allen. I tried not to look, but I knew that the very fact that these messages were coming in meant that the Celts were doing something good—something to the tune of 131 to 92!
So at first I was a little disappointed that my coveted ignorance was shattered, but it made me realize that I have some really great friends.
Thank you.

and ps: I still watched the game. Every second. Some of it two or three times. It was really really awesome. Go Celts!

the children kids blog is up.

2008-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve talked on here some about Children Kids, but now there’s another forum for that. Introducing: Children Kids, the blog. Spread it around. ~!

children kids update…

2008-06-08T23:31:00.001-07:00

I’ve talked a bit about Children Kids on here and, unfortunately, this will probably be the last time I do until we get closer to screening it in August. But, I did want to let you in on a bit of the secret of what’s going down in Squatter Studio.
We’ve got animatics finished for two episodes which we really want to get done by August (wish us ever so much luck… OR, better yet, come on down and help with the coolest project in the world!). Micah’s been working like crazy on composing music that is both rewarding and exciting for the listener and simple and childish in its delivery. We’ve also auditioned dozens of amazingly talented people for the voices and are prepping to do the final recordings really soon. A few of us are learning Maya in order to move our characters around on the screen and that’s pretty exciting to see Zak skip with his marionette-ish floppy movements.
The art is coming along. I keep debating over widescreen or TV format. Both have their appealing traits. A few more characters have been developed and will soon be rigged up for animation. It’s pretty exciting.
That’s probably about all I can say for now.
It’s awesome. It’s a ton of fun and a ton of work.

Oh, but I will share this.
As part of my “research” I get to watch cool animation like Charlie and Lola and Kung Fu Panda—which was really pretty fun, by the way. Here is a classic Charlie and Lola snippet for those of you who don’t have kids or the Disney Channel or who just haven’t stumbled upon it on YouTube.

And here’s a link that kind of showcases some of the style of animation that James Baxter Animation did for the opening sequence of Kung Fu Panda (visually the most stunning part of the whole movie). Unfortunately his site hasn't been updated to showcase that yet. But, you should definitely check it out on the big screen.

the family home evening apartment.

2008-06-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

this blog is turning more and more into an homage to suzie’s creativity than to mine. but… her’s is so much more exciting and fun and blog-able. All the projects I’m working on I need to “wait” and all that… boring.
So she’s working on a chart for Family Home Evening assignments. At first the idea was to make an apartment with different assignments on different windows, but the Children Kids-esque drawings of our FHE family don’t work too well with the apartment. So, back to the drawing board. She’s making a merry-go-round out of CDs right now…
Anyways, here’s Amalia and me and Suzie and Tony and Sienna.

suzie is a genius.

2008-05-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

Suzie is quickly becoming Provo’s Sagmeister of food design. I’ll share more really soon.
In the meantime, Saint Sebastian’s has a show this Friday at Rain Tree apartment. Please come. We’re playing with the Queen of Nebraska. All the details are in the condiments—mustard and sriracha.
Here’s a sample on a song we’ll probably play.

ahem…

2008-05-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

It’s not without a little bashfulness and a decent handful of pride that I introduce you to the newest member of the family.
It all started a few weeks ago in New York when I first saw them up close—blown away and smitten.
After I got back, I received the strangest letter in the mail from an organization called “Basketball for Life”—c/o 23 Contest Office. The envelope and inclosed document read as follows:

Strange, huh?
Coincidence? Maybe… After all, this was just days after I had returned from New York where I spent most of my free time gawking at them.
Skeptical? Definitely.
Still I penned my essay (in haste—it was a tremendously busy week) and mailed it off to this mysterious Organization and their “very fussy” board of directors.
And then, more or less, I forgot about “Basketball for Life” and went about my normal routine. Life returned back to a steady, not-so-busy pace. I worked during the day; I played with Suzie and watched the NBA play-offs at night. And twice a week, I lace up my Jordan 1 remakes and hit the hardwoods where I slowly seem to be regaining my youth’s balling abilities.
But today… unexpected… a black box with a “23” knocked out “of a white circle… and inside… the most amazing footwear specimen that I’ve ever laid eyes, hand, or feet on—the Jordan XX3s.

i’m back…

2008-05-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

but i caught a bug while i was there and i don’t think i can afford the cure…

help. :(

hurry back…

2008-05-05T02:18:00.000-07:00

I’ll be in New York this week til Saturday.
Today Suzie gave me a present with a secret message about that trip. Here it is—see if you can figure it out:

At first I thought it meant that if I didn’t hurry back that she would feed me to a lion, but it turns out—what with her having short hair now—that the dead body in the bloody lion’s belly is her. :)
Miss you already…

about seattle, but not the sonics (at least for the most part)

2008-04-30T14:55:00.001-07:00

With New York pending on the horizon, the idea of “home” and what that means to me anymore has been (perhaps subconsciously) on my mind. I’ve never called Utah “home,” per se, but it has been the place where Suzie and I started our family (link downloads a piece about that) and it is home of a lot of our friends. Friends who at times feel as much like family as anything else. Leaving them will be hard… And that feeling of uncertainty and bitter-sweet tells me that this has become our home more than I may be originally willing to yield.

Anyways, none of that rambling is the point of this post. The point is simply this: I read a really funny, interesting, touching, clever article in the Seattle Times—my home newspaper—about Seattle and about leaving Seattle. It makes me wonder when—if ever—Seattle will ever again be home in practice, not just in words. Reading the article reminds me just how peculiar and unique the attitude that Seattle holds. Anyways, it’s a good, quick read. Check it out.

You Remind Me of Home (mp4) — Ben Gibbard and Andrew Kinney, from the HOME (EP).

uniqlo

2008-04-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

I talk a bit more about this on my other blog, but I thought I’d post it here, too, because it’s pretty fun.

ps: I didn’t know they would show both and I didn’t know they’d show ratings… now I’m nervous.

lucky shirt

2008-04-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

this shirt was the only thing different about my game tonight. Well, that and the fact that I made a bunch of three pointers, played tenacious-D and made like five steals, and hit most of my floaters in the lane. So… it’s gotta be the shirt, right? right…

SOS…

ps: that’s Save Our Sonics.

girls & music

2008-04-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

So I don’t mean this to sound sexist or anything, but for most of my life there have been very few female musicians that I could really get into. During high school we were in the Lilith Fair phase and while I could appreciate what Sarah McLachlan could do, I never really got into her. If I was into anybody, it was Sister Tracy (Chapman)—that woman has some serious soul to her.
Rewind a bit—back to Soul days—and you can find great singers: Aretha Franklin, Tammi Terrell… maybe even Diana Ross?
And I think you can find women carrying on in those shoes: Alicia Keys, Lauren Hill, Erykah Badu. I can get into them sometimes.
So I look at that list and notice something that ties all of the positives together… Can you figure it out??
So now I’m going to sound Racist. I promise I’m not! But what is it about White Girls and music? I think my most despised musicians are Melissa Ethridge and Chrissie Hynde. One time I was watching this Bob Marley tribute concert down in Jamaica hosted by Rita Marley and her kids, the I-Threes and the original Whailers. They had some great acts performing that night. I was practically in tears watching it it was so good (one time I actually was crying: Erykah Badu on No Woman No Cry… man, she nailed that song). And then Chrissie Hynde comes out and I was just at a loss for words. The only thing that could have possibly equaled it was Darius Rucker singing War, of all songs!
Anyways, I digress.
Fast forward to NOW: Has anyone else noted the amazing wealth of really interesting and fun and compelling and creative and sometimes cute and sometimes touching music that is being made by women musicians nowadays?? It’s really staggering.
Here are some people that I really, legitimately like and respect and gladly listen to and seek out and sometimes even buy their music or tickets to their shows:*

• M.I.A. (had to get her out of the way because she a little out of place on this list, but she’s so amazing I had to include her)
• St. Vincent (surprisingly complex, dramatic, and intricate compositions)
• Russian Red (just found her a couple days ago and can’t stop listening to her)
• Lykke Li (very Euro-Indie pop, but very good)
• Kara Keith (rocks the guitar, plays riffs like Micah likes to write)
• El Perro Del Mar (super classy, lush, and—i love this—understated)
• Feist (of course, but she definitely needs to be on here)
• She and Him (M Ward and Zooey Deschanel’s duet; they have great chemistry and She’s got a great tone and soul to her delivery—even better than I remember in Elf)
• Thao Nguyen (so fun. and really cool instrumentation.)
• Basia Bulat (this girl’s songs bleed with honesty and charm. and her vibrato’s pretty cool, too)
• Jonna Lee (kind of a throwback feel to it, like that song you hear in a movie and can’t wait to get home and see who it was)
• Soko (I’m not sure there’s cuter music out there… she doesn’t stand up to the rest in terms of musical depth, but her creativity and her voice—as in the character she plays as a performer—is top notch.)

Here’s one of Soko’s songs form her album Not Sokute: “I’ll Kill Her”

* trust me, I realize the list is extremely inadequate and I’ve left plenty off that I know should be there. Who else would you add?

“as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth”

2008-04-21T17:38:00.000-07:00

some photobooth fun from muse music here in provo. pretty cute, eh?
but the real reason that I’m posting this is this: do you know my sister, Kellie? I cannot recall a single time in my life that I’ve been told that we look alike. In fact, most of the time people say that I look like I was adopted—that I don’t look like any of them.
So, 3 minutes after we snapped our photobooth magic the strip of sepia-toned pictures slides out of the machine and we hurriedly finger it up to check how it turned out.
Cute, right? Yeah, but—picture 2 (the only one that’s pictured here). I am practically my sister. Except with bigger features.
Kellie has this photogenic charm about her. Her smile is perfect every time, her eyes sparkle, her head’s tilted just so… I mean perfect. People always comment on it: Oh, I’ve never seen Kellie take a bad picture.
Well, not to boast or anything, but I took that picture—Kellie’s picture! And it a little bit strange to me right now.
Can I get a witness?

and how ‘bout another for how adorable Suzie is??

nba cares?

2008-04-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

The NBA Cares, huh?
Really…?
I think the players care.
I’ve seen it in their eyes, heard it in their voices… definitely felt it on the court. I read how Kevin Durant nearly cried after an emotional victory in the final home game in Seattle and he’s only been here a year. And I’ve read about the philanthropic endeavors that young guys with sudden spikes in their personal cash-flow undertake in efforts to give back to their communities.
I think it’s rare to find guys who play only for the money, who disregard the fans as annoying leaches, and who are more concerned with the Ladies and the Escalades than with his production on and off the court.
They’re out there, I know. But at least in Seattle we’ve been lucky to have very few of them in the nearly two decades that I’ve been watching and listening to games. When I think of the players who donned the Green and Gold I think of Gary Payton, Ray Allen, Nate McMillan, Detlef Schrempf, and Rashard Lewis.
These players cared. They’ve all left Seattle, though none left with grudges. They’re graciously welcomed home when they return to Seattle. I stood and cheered for nearly five minutes while Ray Allen was recognized for his service to the Seattle community when he returned for the first time since being traded to Boston in the off season.
Ray Allen was a SuperSonic.
It reminds me of the Volkswagen tag line that Ira Glass, with his trademark monotonous delivery, quotes at the end of each TAL episode: “When you get into a Volkswagen, it gets into you.”
That’s kind of how it is with Seattle and the Sonics. Seemingly more-so than with other Seattle sports (with the exception of Ken Griffey Jr who is still riotously cheered nearly a decade and a half after he left Seattle). A lot of players come and go, coaches come and go, but they always take a bit of Seattle with them.
This year, with all the talk of moving the team, some of these players have done their bit to pay homage to one of the best franchises in the history of sports. Coach George Karl showed up to a game wearing a notoriously ugly, handcrafted tie of the Space Needle that he wore back when he was the coach of the Sonics back in the 90s. Gary Payton followed a game later to watch the team he helped build and to pay his respects. Fred Brown, who was on the sole championship team for the Sonics back in 1979, has even fronted a group to build a new stadium without Public funding to keep the team in Seattle.
I wish this history, this 41 year old relationship between a franchise and its fans meant something to the NBA—the very same NBA that “Cares” as they like to remind us half a dozen times during nationally broadcast games. I wish David Stern cared a little bit more about that than the backscratching, fat cat suits that he so loyally supports.
But, the fact is that he doesn’t. Friday, he and almost all the other NBA owners (with the exception of the unorthodox-but-honest Mark Cuban, and the Seattle-native-but-Portland-owner, Microsoft-mogul, Paul Allen) approved the move of the Sonics to Oklahoma City. The Sonics are leaving Seattle.
And what gets me most is this: As soon as Clay Bennett gets his wish, his deceptive plan gets the NBA’s stamp of approval, he comes out and says he feels bad for the good fans of Seattle. How’s that for a slap in the face?
So, that gets me. It’s offensive and it’s cold.
But get this: I know that even after the Sonics leave Seattle—even after the Oklahoma City Raiders change location, change the name and change the colors—I’ll still be reading newspaper headlines about the blooming superstar, Kevin Durrant, and his Robin-sidekick, Jeff Green. I’ll be rooting for them to win, I’ll be happy for them when they make the All Star game and win their first playoffs series.
I know this because I’ve done the exact same thing when Gary Payton, George Karl, Dana Barros, Nate MacMillan, Ray Allen, and Rashard Lewis left town. I still watch them after they go. I watch and I Care because we shared the Sonics.
For non-sports fans this may come off as maniacal. I understand and appreciate that. I know they don’t know who I am and I know that I don’t really know who they are. But the thing that I’ve always loved about sports is how it represents the epic battles of life in short, two hour segments of an ongoing mini-drama that plays out on our TV screen in the evenings when our lives settle down a bit and we have time to sit back to relax. And I think the character that is displayed in those moments say a lot about the real-life character of the cast in the play.
So I respect the dedication and respect, the dignity that the Sonics have brought to Seattle and that they’ve brought to me.
So, in spite of my broken heart, I will wish them luck as the moving vans take them away. Because, when you get into the Seattle Supersonics, they get into you.

ever again?

a real life super villain

2008-04-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

This guy is just too evil to be for real! Yet his true colors come out more and more everyday…

don’t go…

2008-04-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

Reading about last night’s game reminded me how much Seattle has to loose if Clay Bennett gets his wish and moves this team to Oklahoma City. For the most part, the legislature, the league, the fans have all yielded to Clay’s evil plan and the fact that he’s going to do with this team exactly as he pleases—regardless of what the city of Seattle says. And now people are hoping in the future. They’re looking to keep the “Sonics” in Seattle so that if, in the future, another team is purchased or an expansion team is granted to the city that they will be the Seattle Sonics. Clay Bennett could care less about the name and history of the team, so he’s agreed to that without reservations. But… we still lose the young players that are carrying on the Sonics‘ legacy like Kevin Durant and Jeff Green, Luke Ridenour and Nick Collison. We start all over again. That is, if there ever is an “again.”

videos from last night: 1, 2. You should seriously check out KD’s game-tying 3 pointer in OT from 29 feet straightaway—his second game-tying 3 of the night! And this picture above—that’s him walking away after that shoot. K-Smoove… man.

my mom is an ace of cakes.

2008-04-04T22:51:00.001-07:00

April Fool’s Day is my niece’s birthday and last weekend they had a party for her “big girl” 3rd birthday. She is very into dolls and pink, I hear. So my mom made her this incredible cake. Maybe not quite edgy enough, but that’s like Ace of Cake’s quality there! I’m really impressed. Go Mom~!

ps: for some cute pictures of my sister’s family—including the newest addition—check ‘em out here. Happy belated birthday Jessie Girl.

pps: if you go to that Ace of Cake’s site, watch your volume. It’s reDirkulously loud.

a bit of hawaii reminiscing.

2008-04-03T11:47:00.001-07:00

Jon Canlas has finally gotten the last of his photos from hawaii back—perhaps the one drawback of film?—and he sent this image over to me today, along with this. Believe it or not, but we were fighting that day. Maybe this was when we snapped out of it :)

nude re/mix

2008-04-02T08:11:00.000-07:00

some pretty cool remixes of radiohead’s NUDE here.
and I LOVE radiohead’s forward thinking with the release of IN_RAINBOWS and this site... not that they’re the first by any means. MIA did something similar a couple years ago, but not as well or as encompassing.

ps: bardhi—and maybe other’s?—i apologize for my editing of the content here, but only because it’s on my site.

suzie... you make my life a lot more fun

2008-04-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

I’ll miss this girl for the next few days while she’s in NYC interviewing for school.
Wish her luck~! (not that she really needs any—she’ll do just fine)

actually seeing things!

2008-04-01T20:55:00.001-07:00

Some of my friends that blog “professionally” or whatever are photographers and always seem to have an infinite back file—and constant new work—with which to blog about. Designers, though… I don’t think we really enjoy that luxury. Often times we work on large, long-term projects and sometimes it takes months before we see something complete. The last couple days, however, I’ve seen 3 things completed; 2 printed and one live on the web. Awesome.

provo care center brochure

2008-04-01T03:04:00.000-07:00

i explain a bit about the process behind this project over on the other blog.
(I’m trying this duality thing out—I may despise it and bring it all back home, but… stick with me for a bit. And if you hate the idea, tell me.)

ps: the amazing photography is courtesy of Leo Patrone.
oh and pps: we weren’t allowed to take photos of the residents that shows their face or distinguishing characteristics.

2008-04-01T03:01:00.001-07:00

so I’ve been debating and trying to figure out how to better release my design into the public. It has been brought to my attention on several occasions that this blog doesn’t quite cut it as far as a “professional blog” goes. And not that this one does much better, but hopefully with some work we’ll get it there.